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In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation both bewildered and slightly amused, the recently impeached leader, President Fiscal Cliffhanger, has proposed a groundbreaking new tax policy that could drastically alter the landscape of science funding in the United States. The policy, which has been dubbed the "Einstein-Rosen Taxation Plan," after the famous physicist whose theories it seems to have as much in common with as a chihuahua has with a T-Rex, aims to incentivize private investment in scientific research by offering substantial tax breaks to corporations that fund black hole experiments, and increased audits for those who question the existence of unicorns.

The proposal, which has been met with both praise and bewilderment from the scientific community, suggests that by channeling funds into the search for phenomena with potential commercial applications, such as wormholes for faster-than-light travel, the nation's economy will receive an unprecedented boost. Meanwhile, researchers studying the mystical properties of unicorns, or any other "mythical" entities, will face intense scrutiny from the IRS, which has been equipped with a special task force of agents trained in the art of "myth-busting."

The political ramifications of this move are as complex as the equations that supposedly underpin the tax policy. Critics argue that the plan is a blatant attempt to divert funding away from the already under-resourced fields of climate science, public health, and social sciences, which have historically provided society with tangible benefits. Supporters, on the other hand, claim that this is a bold step towards a future where science fiction becomes science fact, and the United States leads the world in intergalactic commerce.

In a statement that exemplified the irony of the situation, President Fiscal Cliffhanger declared, "We're not just investing in science; we're investing in the dreams of our children, the dreams of a future where they can ride unicorns through the stars, or at least own a piece of the company that claims they can."

As the nation braces itself for what promises to be a fascinating legislative battle, one thing is clear: the next few years will be a wild ride through the cosmos of political and scientific innovation, with or without the guidance of our mythical equine friends.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.