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In a shocking turn of events that has left the nation reeling, it has been unearthed that the esteemed President Bipartisan has a hidden past as the world-renowned clown, Laughing Gas. The revelation came to light just as the President was about to sign the highly controversial "Every Disaster Must Have a Silver Lining Act" into law, a bill that many fear will turn natural disasters into opportunities for personal gain.

Sources close to the President have confirmed that Bipartisan, whose real name has been withheld for "protecting the sanctity of the office," spent his formative years juggling balls and performing slapstick comedy under the stage name Laughing Gas in a traveling circus. Critics have seized upon this information, suggesting that the President's comedic background may have prepared him for the high-wire act of political leadership, but others argue that his clownish antics could be a harbinger of a presidency filled with nothing but hollow promises and gags.

The "Every Disaster Must Have a Silver Lining Act," which has been met with widespread criticism from both sides of the aisle, aims to reclassify natural disasters as "financial opportunities" for individuals who can turn the aftermath to their advantage. The legislation has sparked outrage among those who fear it will lead to a surge in disaster capitalism and a new wave of exploitation.

As the nation grapples with the implications of this potential disaster-turned-opportunity legislation, political pundits and the public alike are left wondering if the President's secret past as Laughing Gas will affect his judgment and the future of the nation. Will the circus continue to be in town, or will this revelation bring the Bipartisan administration's big top crashing down? Only time will tell, but one thing is for certain: the election cycle just got a whole lot more interesting.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.