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In an explosive turn of events, the Democratic-controlled House of Representatives has proposed a groundbreaking piece of legislation that seeks to revise the venerable United States Constitution. The bill, aptly named the "Dynamic Document Designation Act" (DDDA), aims to update the Constitution every two years to reflect the "ever-evolving" moral compass of the nation.

The DDDA, which has been met with a barrage of criticism from all sides, suggests that the Constitution, a document revered for its stability and enduring principles, should be as malleable as a politician's promise during an election year. The proposed amendment would create a never-ending loop of constitutional revisions, ensuring that no law is ever truly set in stone, and that the founding fathers' vision of a "more perfect union" is constantly under renovation.

Upon learning of this audacious plan, the Senate, led by the indomitable Senator Stonewall, has launched an unprecedented campaign of resistance. "This is not just a slap in the face to the history and heritage of our great nation," Senator Stonewall declared from the Senate floor, "it's a full-on historical assault with a blunt instrument of absurdity!"

The Senate's response was swift and unanimous, with every senator, regardless of party affiliation, standing in solidarity against the proposed legislation. In a rare display of bipartisan unity, they introduced the "Sacred Script Sanctuary Act" (SSSA), which aims to enshrine the Constitution's current form as a "living museum" that should not be tampered with.

The SSSA's proponents argue that the Constitution is not a "living document," as often claimed, but rather a "time-tested, historically significant, and slightly yellowed piece of parchment" that should be preserved with the reverence it deserves. They insist that any changes to the Constitution should be as rare as a politician's honesty—essentially, an event to be celebrated and observed with the same awe as a shooting star.

As the nation watches with bated breath, the constitutional showdown between the House and the Senate has sparked a frenzy of debate across the country. Political pundits, talk show hosts, and even the local barbers have weighed in on the matter, with opinions as varied as the number of times a politician has promised to drain the swamp.

In the midst of this constitutional kerfuffle, one thing is clear: the venerable document that has guided the nation through its most tumultuous times is now at the center of a political tug-of-war that threatens to turn the very fabric of governance into a political piñata.

Stay tuned as this story unfolds, with more twists and turns than a politician's tax returns. Only time will tell if the Constitution will emerge from this battle as the stoic symbol of freedom it once was, or if it will become the latest victim of political whims and caprices.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.