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In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through the halls of Congress and sparked a fiery debate across the nation, a group of intrepid Republican lawmakers has uncovered a previously unknown clause within the Constitution. This little-known section, dubbed the "Historical Freedom Amendment" by the lawmakers, grants every American the inalienable right to live entirely tax-free, provided they dress exclusively in colonial attire and engage in reenactments of the Boston Tea Party.

"It's about time we remind the government of the sacrifices our forefathers made for our freedom," exclaimed Senator John Libertybelle of Texas, standing in full tricorn regalia at the steps of the Capitol. "If the Founding Fathers could stand up to taxation without representation, so can we!"

The discovery was made during a routine archival review when a box labeled "Historical Documents" was mistakenly delivered to the office of Representative Martha Washington of Virginia. As she sifted through old parchment and quills, she stumbled upon the forgotten safeguard, hidden in plain sight since 1787.

The news sent the conservative base into a frenzy of excitement. Constitutiontion groups like the "Minutemen for Modernity" and the "Revolutionary Taxpayers' Alliance" quickly organized rallies and reenactments across the nation. In a bizarre twist of events, the nation's capital saw a surge in colonial garb as citizens joined in the festive protest, eager to claim their constitutional right to fiscal freedom.

In response, the Democratic Party, under the leadership of Speaker of the House Pelosi-Madison, called an emergency session of Congress to address this "absurd misinterpretation of the Constitution." They argued that the amendment was likely a prank by a colonial-cosplaying intern and that no such right existed. However, the Republican-led House Judiciary Committee, chaired by the ardent constitutionalist Senator Thomas Jefferson III, has announced plans to investigate further and potentially enshrine this "Historical Freedom Amendment" into law.

As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the nation is divided not just along party lines but also along those who favor the traditional system of taxation and those who see themselves as modern-day patriots fighting against the oppressive yoke of taxes. The irony of this national debate taking place in the digital age, where information and misinformation spread at the speed of light, is not lost on political commentators.

In the meantime, the IRS has reported a 300% increase in tax evasion as Americans, emboldened by this newfound "constitutional right," are creatively finding ways to avoid taxes through historical reenactments. The national debt clock, once a symbol of the country's fiscal responsibilities, has been reimagined by some as a ticking time bomb, counting down to the day when the "Historical Freedom Amendment" becomes law.

As the nation awaits the outcome of this constitutional conundrum, one thing is certain: the fight for historical freedom against modern tax tyranny has officially begun. Whether this is a sincere fight for liberty or a clever political stunt remains to be seen. Regardless, it's shaping up to be a tea party no one will soon forget.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.