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In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves through the global economy, sources close to the impeached leader, Ex-President Fizzlebang, have leaked a classified document detailing a dystopian vision for the United States. The document, labeled "Project Apocalypse: The Fizzlebang Blueprint," outlines a series of events that would lead to a controlled economic collapse, followed by a rise to power of a 'chosen one' – none other than Fizzlebang himself.

According to the blueprint, the first step in this grand plan is to instigate a series of global conflicts, with the aim of destabilizing key economic players and manipulating markets to the advantage of a select few. The document ominously predicts that these wars would be "short, yet devastatingly effective in sowing discord and mistrust among nations."

Economically, the plan calls for a strategic dismantling of international trade agreements, coupled with the introduction of a series of protectionist policies that would cripple global supply chains. "By making it economically advantageous for countries to turn against each other, we can create a self-perpetuating cycle of economic warfare," the document states.

The impeached leader's vision for the United States post-collapse is nothing short of chilling. It describes a nation where the government exerts absolute control over every aspect of life, from the food on your plate to the thoughts in your head. Citizens would be required to undergo regular 'loyalty checks' to ensure compliance with the state's ideology, with dissenters being 're-educated' or 'relocated' to newly established 'reconciliation camps.'

In a move that can only be described as Orwellian, Fizzlebang's blueprint suggests the creation of a national currency, the 'Fizzlebuck,' which would be fully traceable and controllable by the government. This would allow for a precise monitoring of economic activity and the ability to warard or punish citizens based on their perceived value to the state.

While the authenticity of the document has not been officially confirmed, economists and political analysts are sounding the alarm. "The implications of this plan, if real, are dire," says Dr. Numb, an economist at the University of Fictitious Studies. "We could be looking at a future where the principles of free-market capitalism are replaced by a totalitarian economic system."

As the world grapples with the potential fallout from this revelation, one thing is clear: the global economy is teetering on the brink of a new era, and the specter of Fizzlebang's dystopian vision looms large over the horizon. Whether this is a genuine blueprint for power or a desperate bid for relevance by a disgraced former leader, the consequences could be catastrophic.

In a statement, the current President, Common Sense, has condemned the leaked document, assuring the public that "under my administration, we will continue to strive for peace, prosperity, and the protection of individual freedoms for all Americans."

However, with the impeached leader's influence still lingering in the shadows, many are left wondering: Is this the end of the United States as we know it, or just another twist in the unpredictable narrative of American history? Only time will tell.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.