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In a move that has left economists and political pundits equally baffled and intrigued, a major shake-up in government tax policy was accidentally leaked to the public this morning. The document, which appears to be an internal memo from the "Ministry of Financial Finesse," outlines a series of radical changes set to revolutionize the way Americans "contribute" to the national coffers.

According to the memo, obtained exclusively by our intrepid correspondent disguised as a janitor with a penchant for confidential documents, the new tax legislation is a masterful piece of political jujitsu. It flips the script on traditional taxation by introducing a novel concept: "Voluntary Mandatory Contributions."

Under this groundbreaking plan, citizens are no longer subjected to the draconian regime of tax deadlines but are instead encouraged to pay their "voluntary mandatory" dues at their own pace. The government, in a show of unprecedented flexibility, has promised to send gentle reminders in the form of postcards featuring the smiling faces of elected officials, including the charismatic Senator Gigglepants and the enigmatic Representative Winkwinkle.

Moreover, the legislation proposes a new tiered tax system based on the "Karma Points" system. Those who consistently make "voluntary contributions" early and often will be rewarded with a lower tier, while chronic late payers will find themselves in the higher echelons of tax brackets, where the rate of contribution is, quite literally, astronomical.

In a stunning display of political strategy, the memo suggests that this new system will not only boost government revenues but also serve as a powerful tool for social engineering. By targeting the "forgotful" and "procrastinating" demographics, the government aims to subtly influence voter behavior in upcoming elections, effectively turning tax delinquency into a bipartisan issue.

Critics have already raised concerns about the potential for abuse and the possibility of the system being gamed by the savvy taxpayer, who might see this as an opportunity to climb down the tax ladder through strategic non-payment. However, the government has assured the public that there will be an oversight committee, led by the esteemed and impartial Chairman O'Loophole, to ensure fair play and prevent any "unintended" exploitation of the system.

As the political games continue to unfold, one thing is clear: the new tax legislation is a move that could either be hailed as a masterstroke of governance or remembered as the most outlandish fiscal policy in modern history. Only time will tell if the American public will take the bait or if this will end up being a fish story for the ages.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.