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In a move that has sent shockwaves through the gaming community and sparked a new wave of dystopian fears, the Government has unveiled a groundbreaking economic bill that promises to "optimize national productivity" by transforming video games into mandatory educational tools. The Senate, in a display of bipartisan unity that would make political pundits weep with joy, unanimously passed the "Engagement, Enlightenment, and National Empowerment Through Reality-Altered Simulation" (EENERS) Act.

Under the EENERS Act, all video games will be reprogrammed to include a mandatory curriculum approved by the Department of Education. This curriculum will cover everything from advanced calculus to the intricacies of the tax code, ensuring that every virtual adventure doubles as a high-stakes exam. The bill's proponents argue that this will not only revolutionize the way we learn but also save the country from the looming economic crisis by turning gamers into productive citizens overnight.

"Imagine," gushed Senator Gamechanger (R-VR) during the bill's debate, "a world where our youth are not only mastering the art of virtual combat but also calculating GDP growth rates and drafting environmental policies in real-time. We're not just playing games; we're playing the future!"

Critics of the bill have been silenced (or converted) as the government has showcased prototypes of the new educational games, which feature blockbuster-quality graphics and interactive storylines that adapt to the player's learning pace. The games promise to make learning as addictive as the most popular shooter or RPG, with the added bonus of being officially recognized as a valid form of education.

However, the gaming community has not taken this news lying down. A group of hardcore gamers, calling themselves the "Save Our Virtual Playground" initiative, has started a petition to fight the EENERS Act. Their manifesto, which has gone viral, declares that the sanctity of gaming as a leisure activity must be preserved, lest we become a society of joyless, overly-educated automatons, all under the guise of economic efficiency.

As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the future of gaming has never been more uncertain, and the line between reality and education is blurring faster than a high-speed internet connection. Whether this will lead to a utopia of informed, game-savvy citizens or a dystopia where the only escape from educational mandates is virtual reality, only time will tell. But one thing is for certain—the days of mindless gaming are over, and the age of the Educational Entertainment Complex has begun.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.