Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In a shocking turn of events that has left political analysts scratching their heads, a new type of conflict has emerged on the North American continent. It's not a war in the traditional sense, with tanks and soldiers and all that ruckus. No, this is a different kind of warfare, one fought on the high grounds of smartphone screens and the battlefields of virtual reality.

The United States has found itself at the center of a monumental shift, where the term "virtual warfare" has taken on a whole new meaning. In a recent report by the American Virtual Conflict League (AVCL), it has been revealed that the average American citizen is now spending more hours in mobile games like "Tactical Taps: The Battle of Thumb Hill" and "Strategic Squares: Fortress of the Fingers" than in physical training for the military draft.

This newfound obsession with mobile gaming has not only changed the way Americans exercise but has also had a profound impact on the country's foreign policy. The AVCL reports that the United States has begun to deploy "digital divisions" to simulate and win battles in these games, thus securing a new kind of sovereignty in the realm of virtual reality.

The rise of these digital soldiers has sparked a debate among policymakers. Some, like the outspoken Senator Thumb-Stick (R-Gamer), argue that this new form of combat is a vital skill for the modern age, where physical strength is no match for the strategic prowess of a seasoned gamer. Others, like the ever-concerned Senator Joystick (D-Controller), fear that this could lead to a generation of young Americans who are more adept at tapping their screens than defending their country.

The Department of Virtual Affairs has officially recognized the potential of these mobile warriors, even going as far as to create a new branch within the military: the Virtual Tactical Operations Division (VTOD). The VTOD's first mission? To conquer the leaderboard of "Global Gaming Jihad: The World's End Game."

In response to this digital arms race, neighboring Canada has initiated a cross-border alliance, forming the "Canadian Contingent of Cyber Commandos" (C4). The C4 has vowed to stand shoulder to shoulder with their American counterparts in the fight for virtual supremacy, promising to protect the freedom to play, lest we be overrun by the digital armies of unknown, and perhaps unpronounceable, virtual entities.

As the world watches in bemusement, the United States stands at the forefront of this new era of warfare, where the battle is not fought with guns and tanks, but with thumbs and tactical taps. The question remains: In a world where virtual freedom is the ultimate prize, will the United States emerge victorious, or will they be left tapping aimlessly in the vast expanse of the digital frontier? Only time will tell, as the virtual war rages on, unseen by the naked eye but fiercely contested by the nation's most elite mobile gamers.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.