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In an unprecedented turn of events, the United States Senate is teetering on the edge of a full-blown constitutional crisis, not over the usual suspects of healthcare, tax reform, or foreign policy, but over a heated debate on the legitimacy of a new bill that would mandate all politicians to have at least a basic understanding of science.

Senator Ignatius "Flash" Fermi, a maverick from the great state of Nebraska, has proposed the "Politicians must not be Complete Ignoramuses of Science Act" (PMCISA), which, if passed, would require all lawmakers to undergo rigorous scientific training before they can vote on any legislation related to science and technology.

The bill, which has sparked a frenzy of political gamesmanship, has been met with outrage from both sides of the aisle. Members of the Senate are reportedly engaged in a series of undercover operations, trying to catch their colleagues red-handed in an attempt to discredit the bill.

"It's a witch hunt," exclaimed Senator Amelia Earhart, a fiery republican from the sunny state of Florida. "We don't need to be scientists to represent our constituents. We need to represent their values, not their scientific literacy!"

In a surprising twist, it has been rumored that the Vice President, none other than Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt IV, has been secretly hosting science tutorials for his fellow lawmakers in the hopes of preventing a national embarrassment. "It's about time we got our facts straight," Roosevelt was overheard saying, "We can't keep making laws based on myths and misconceptions."

The scientific community has reacted with a mixture of hilarity and horror at the turn of events. Dr. Sheldon Cooper, a renowned physicist and television personality, has offered to conduct the training sessions himself, provided that the Senate agrees to air the entire process on C-SPAN.

Meanwhile, the public is torn between laughter and disbelief. Social media is abuzz with memes and GIFs mocking the lawmakers' apparent disdain for science. Hashtags like #ScienceOrSlogans and #FactsNotFiction are trending, as citizens express their hope that this crisis will lead to a more informed and science-literate Congress.

As the Senate stands on the precipice of either enlightenment or further embarrassment, one thing is certain: the political games being played are anything but child's play. The stakes are high, and the nation watches with bated breath as the fate of scientific understanding in the halls of power hangs in the balance.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.