Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In a shocking turn of events, the recently impeached President Anonymous has been spotted playing a high-stakes game of Risk, vowing to change the course of history from the confines of his resplendent, gold-plated bunker. The game, which sources close to the President claim is his way of coping with the "ridiculous" impeachment proceedings, has reportedly taken a dark turn as the President has annexed several countries in a bid to control the entire globe before his presidency comes to an official end.

"He's been at it for days," said a White House aide who wished to remain anonymous for fear of being absorbed into the President's ever-expanding empire on the board. "He's been using the military's satellite imagery to plan his assaults. I mean, troop movements. Definitely troop movements."

The Democrats, who have been vigilantly monitoring the situation, have called the President's actions "unprecedented" and "a clear indication that he believes he can still influence international affairs from this position." House Speaker Pelosi Nimblefingers has called an emergency session of Congress to address the situation, suggesting that the President may be plotting a real-world coup to reignite his presidency from the ashes of his defeat.

In related news, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, the Phantom of the Capitol, has been overheard muttering about the impeachment being a "waste of time" and that the President is simply "playing to his base." When asked for comment, McConnell's office released a statement saying, "The Senator believes that the President is just expressing his love for strategy games and that we should all take a light-hearted approach to the situation."

Meanwhile, the rest of the world watches in a mix of amusement and horror as the impeached President's political games threaten to become a reality. Experts are divided on whether this is a clever distraction from the ongoing impeachment trial or a sign of a leader who has lost touch with reality.

One thing is for certain: history will remember this period as the time when the rules of political engagement were rewritten by a man with a pair of dice and a burning desire to win at all costs. Will the President's strategy lead to a new era of global dominance, or will his empire crumble faster than a house of cards in a hurricane? Only time will tell, but one thing's for sure: it's going to be one hell of a game.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.