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In a shocking turn of events that has left political pundits scratching their heads and the public in a frenzy of anticipation, the upcoming election has taken an unexpected twist. It seems that the age-old issue of taxation has suddenly been catapulted into the spotlight, becoming the unlikely protagonist in a drama that is shaping up to be more dramatic than any sci-fi blockbuster.

Rumors have been swirling that the Republicans, led by the charismatic and impeached President Rex Redacted, are plotting to overhaul the entire tax system. Insiders claim that the party is considering implementing a new, futuristic tax model that would tax citizens based on their "Futuristic Lifestyle Contribution" (FLC). This novel approach would assess taxes not on income or property, but on the extent to which an individual's lifestyle reflects advancements in technology and innovation.

"If you're living like it's 2020 when we're clearly in 2050, you're going to pay up," explained a source close to the Republican strategists. "But if you're a pioneer of the post-human era, embracing augmented reality and quantum computing, you might just get a sweet tax break."

The Democrats, not to be outdone, have countered with their own futuristic proposal: the "Temporal Tax Equity" (TTE) plan. This plan would tax citizens based on their actions in alternate realities and parallel universes. "Why should we limit our tax base to the mundane earthly transactions?" exclaimed a Democratic policy advisor. "If you're making big bucks in the multiverse, you should be contributing to the upkeep of this planet too!"

The public, ever divided, has reacted with a mixture of outrage and intrigue. Protesters have taken to the streets, some wearing futuristic gear to minimize their tax liability, while others are demonstrating against what they see as an invasion of privacy and an unfeasible bureaucratic nightmare.

As the election approaches, the candidates are gearing up for a debate that promises to be as contentious as it is bizarre. The central question remains: will taxation be the key issue that swings the election, or will voters be too dazzled by the futuristic promises to notice the fine print? Only time will tell, but one thing is certain: the next president will have to be as adept at navigating the complexities of space-time as they are at managing the economy.

In the midst of this uproar, one thing is clear: the future of taxation is not just a matter of policy—it's a matter of survival. And as the candidates vie for the votes of the most forward-thinking citizens, it's becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish between the absurd and the inevitable. After all, in a world where the possibilities of tomorrow are limited only by the imagination of today, who could have predicted that taxation would be the front line of the battle for the future?

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.