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In a shocking turn of events that has left the world both baffled and bemused, the United States Senate has introduced a groundbreaking new bill that promises to revolutionize the way science is funded in the country. Dubbed the "Futuristic Advancement Through Unified Research and Taxation" (FAUTRT) Act, the legislation proposes a novel approach to research and development: taxing the future.

Yes, you heard that right. The FAUTRT Act seeks to implement a 10% tax on all inventions, discoveries, and innovations made by scientists and researchers that are expected to have a significant impact on the world within the next century. The funds collected from this futuristic tax will be pooled into a new government fund, aptly named the "Tomorrow's Pioneers Endowment Fund" (TPEF), to support current and future scientific endeavors.

Supporters of the bill argue that this is a brilliant way to ensure that science remains a profitable venture, incentivizing researchers to focus on projects with a high potential for commercial success. "After all," says Senator Profitmargins (R-TX), "if we're taxing the future, we might as well invest in the kind of science that guarantees a return on our investment."

Critics, however, are up in arms, claiming that this is akin to taxing a lemonade stand for the success of its eventual lemonade empire. "It's a slippery slope," warns Dr. Nobelintent (D-CA), a prominent physicist and Nobel laureate. "What's to stop future governments from taxing the very ideas that could solve our most pressing problems?"

The bill's proponents dismiss such concerns, insisting that the TPEF will be overseen by a panel of esteemed scientists and economists, ensuring that the funds are used to advance the frontiers of knowledge and not for nefarious purposes. They also point out that the tax is only levied on those who stand to benefit financially from their inventions, thus maintaining a sense of fairness.

However, the most ironic twist in this tale is that the FAUTRT Act itself was developed using research funded by taxpayers' money. It remains to be seen whether the Senate will exempt itself from the tax it has so boldly proposed, or if it will lead by example and contribute to the very fund it seeks to create.

As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the future of science funding in the United States is about to take a turn into the unknown, with the FAUTRT Act as its guiding star. Whether this will be a beacon of innovation or a harbinger of stifled creativity remains to be seen. In the words of Senator Profitmargins, "We're not just investing in science; we're investing in America's future. And isn't that worth taxing?"

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.