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In an exclusive bombshell investigation, our esteemed journalistic team at "The Onion Chronicles" has uncovered a scandal so vast, it threatens to upend the very fabric of our nation's political integrity. It appears that the beloved and revered President Laughingstock, known for his impeccable track record of "alternative facts" and "promises kept," may have engaged in the most brazen form of electoral skullduggery since the invention of the ballot box.

Our deep dive into the murky waters of political dirty tricks began with a mysterious donor, WhoDaresWins, who anonymously dropped a digital breadcrumb trail leading straight to the heart of President Laughingstock's campaign coffers. The trail included a series of coded messages, ancient Sumerian recipes, and a suspiciously high number of "Get Out of Jail Free" cards, all of which pointed to a conspiracy that would make even the most seasoned Machiavellis blush.

According to our sources within the shadows of the political underground, President Laughingstock's campaign was awash with ill-gotten gains from a myriad of "questionable" sources, including but not limited to, a pygmy goat named Voterino, a psychic octopus with a perfect election prediction record, and a shadowy figure known only as "The Puppet Master."

The Puppet Master, a purported connoisseur of both political theater and fine Italian leather goods, was rumored to be pulling strings from a secret lair hidden beneath a defunct pizza parlor in New York City. The lair was reportedly filled with high-tech surveillance equipment, a lifetime supply of pizza, and a wall of portraits featuring President Laughingstock in various historical and fictional settings, all of which featured the President victoriously, of course.

Our sources also suggest that the President's campaign may have engaged in a series of coordinated efforts to sway public opinion through an elaborate network of fake news outlets, social media bots, and a legion of deep-state operatives, all masquerading as everyday Americans. These efforts were so sophisticated that they managed to convince a significant portion of the electorate that a moon landing was, in fact, a hoax, and that Bigfoot was the true architect of the Declaration of Independence.

As the investigation continues, the nation holds its breath, waiting to see if the President will be impeached for his role in this sordid affair. Meanwhile, the Government, which has remained suspiciously silent throughout this ordeal, prepares for the possibility of a total collapse of the political system as we know it.

In a statement, a Government spokesperson, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of reprisal from The Puppet Master's octopus, said, "We are monitoring the situation closely and assure the public that we are doing everything in our power to maintain the integrity of our democracy. However, we must remind citizens that the concept of 'truth' is highly subjective, and what seems like corruption could, in fact, be a brilliant entrepreneurial venture."

Stay tuned to "The Onion Chronicles" for continuous coverage of this unfolding drama, as our brave journalists navigate the labyrinthine corridors of power, dodging political landmines and the occasional flying pizza slice, all in the name of truth, justice, and the American way. Or at least, that's what our lawyers said we should write.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.