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In a stunning turn of events that would make George Orwell do a triple-take, the esteemed halls of Congress have taken a leaf out of the most obscure science fiction novels to save our crumbling democracy. In a bold and unprecedented move, a bipartisan group of lawmakers, known as the United Congress of Science Enthusiasts (UCSE), has decided to impeach the President of the United States, President Dystopius Ranthem, for his consistent disregard for scientific evidence.

The impeachment was initiated after a series of shocking revelations. President Ranthem was found conducting unauthorized experiments on Capitol Hill, attempting to engineer a new strain of "alternative facts" bacteria that could withstand the harsh environment of public discourse. The goal, according to leaked memos, was to create an unassailable base of misinformation that would "protect the integrity of the nation's political discourse."

But it was the President's latest initiative that finally tipped the scales. The "Project Mockingbird 2.0" proposal, which aimed to replace all birds with drones to eliminate the threat of avian-based satire, was the final straw for the UCSE. The group, which has been operating in secret since the early 2000s, had long anticipated the day when they would have to intervene to prevent the slippery slope towards a dystopian future.

The impeachment process was a spectacle of unity and scientific acumen. The UCSE presented irrefutable evidence, including a series of peer-reviewed papers rejected from every major journal for their lack of scientific validity. The President's counter-argument, a rambling soliloquy on the virtues of "intellectual freedom," was met with laughter from the chamber, prompting the President to storm out in a huff, leaving behind a trail of crumpled papers and a lonely drone that had been his personal assistant.

As the news broke, citizens across the nation took to the streets, not in protests of anger or fear, but in a celebration of scientific literacy and the triumph of reason over unfounded rhetoric. The hashtag #ScienceSavesDemocracy trended worldwide, with experts and laypeople alike sharing their thoughts on the importance of evidence-based governance.

In an ironic twist, it was the very tools of science that saved the day. A team of independent scientists, known as the Fact-Checkers' Guild, was commissioned to monitor the situation and ensure that the impeachment process was free from partisan bias. Their real-time fact-checking stream, broadcasted live on all major networks, became the most-watched event in history, surpassing even the Super Bowl and the royal weddings combined.

With President Ranthem's impeachment, the UCSE has set a precedent that could redefine the relationship between science and government. The nation waits with bated breath for the subsequent actions of the interim President, Dr. Evidence-Based, a renowned epidemiologist with a penchant for double-blind studies and a disdain for sciencecience.

As the dust settles and the new political landscape takes shape, one thing is clear: in the battle between fact and fiction, science has emerged victorious, and democracy, for the moment, has been saved.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.