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In a move that has left gamers and technology experts alike scratching their heads, Congress, in a rare display of bipartisan unity, has just passed the "National Tranquility Act" (NTA). The legislation, which was rushed through both houses with the speed of a hyper-charged Super Mario Bros. power-up, aims to ban all video games across the nation in the wake of a recent series of seemingly unrelated natural disasters.

The NTA, which was passed with an overwhelming majority, declares that video games are not only contributing to the nation's emotional instability but are also somehow directly linked to the increase in natural disasters, such as hurricanes, earthquakes, and even droughts, according to a highly questionable report from the "Institute for Unfounded Research."

The bill's sponsor, the ever-wise and insightful Senator Joystick (R-VR Gaming), argued on the Senate floor that "our nation's youth are becoming too detached from reality. They're spending hours in virtual worlds, neglecting their civic duty to engage with the physical, tangible world around them." He went on to claim that by eliminating video games, citizens will have no choice but to pay more attention to the actual weather forecasts and, therefore, become more prepared for natural disasters.

In a stunning display of support, the bill was co-sponsored by the illustrious Senator Controller (D-PS4), who remarked, "This is about preserving the fabric of our society. We cannot allow our citizens to hide behind avatars and pixels when the real world demands their presence and resilience."

The new law has sparked outrage among gamers nationwide, with many taking to social media to voice their frustrations. Hashtags like #GameOnFreedom and #SaveOurControllers have begun trending, with users calling the law an unprecedented attack on personal freedom and a blatant attempt to undermine the multibillion-dollar video game industry.

Meanwhile, in an unrelated turn of events, the Department of the Interior has announced the creation of a new government agency, the Bureau of Imaginary Realms (BIR), tasked with monitoring virtual environments for signs of political dissent and natural disaster foreshadowing. The BIR, which is set to commence operations this fall, will reportedly employ an elite team of "Virtual Reality Rangers" who are trained in the art of virtual ethnography and disaster prediction.

As the nation braces for the impact of the NTA, many are left wondering if this is indeed the best approach to dealing with both the societal and environmental challenges we face. Or perhaps, it's just another example of our elected officials' quest to solve every problem by turning off the power button.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.