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In a shocking turn of events that would make George Orwell blink in disbelief, President Dystopia Johnson has unveiled an ambitious agenda that promises to redefine the very fabric of U.S. governance. The President, known for his flair for the dramatic and his love of all things Orwellian, has proposed a series of executive orders that, if passed, would see the creation of a "Ministry of Truth" within the White House. This new department, not to be confused with a satirical news outlet, will be tasked with ensuring the accuracy of all information disseminated by the government, as well as regulating the content of "thoughtcrime" across all media platforms.

Congressional leaders from both sides of the aisle, who have historically engaged in friendly bipartisan banter, were reportedly stunned into silence by the proposal. "I've seen some things in my day, but this," stammered Senator BiPartisan Collins, "this takes the cake. I mean, who even knows what's real anymore?" Meanwhile, Representative Common Ground Adams was overheard muttering, "If we allow this, next thing you know, we'll have government-sanctioned facts. The horror!"

The House of Representatives, in a display of unprecedented unity, has called an emergency session to discuss the implications of such a dystopian plan. The Senate, on the other hand, has decided to form a special committee to investigate whether this is all a cleverly orchestrated plot to distract the public from more pressing issues, such as the mysterious disappearance of the White House's pet pigeon, Wingnut.

In a move that could set a new precedent in presidential leadership, President Dystopia Johnson has promised to veto any bill that does not fully support his vision. "I will not be dictated to by a bunch of career politicians who can't even agree on the color of the sky," the President declared, standing before a backdrop of ominously grey skies.

Historians and scholars alike are already penning theses and dissertations that will one day be used to analyze this pivotal moment in American history. "This could very well be the turning point where the United States shifts from a democracy to a totalitarian regime," said Dr. Hyperbole Huxley of the Institute for Dystopian Studies. "Or it could be a brilliant piece of performance art. It's hard to tell with this administration."

As the nation braces for what could be the most contentious debate since the Great Pie Recipe Act of 1825, one thing is clear: nothing is certain except for the enduring spirit of satire and the relentless quest for truth, or at least the appearance of it. Stay tuned as this story develops—unless it's all a simulation, in which case, who are we kidding? We're already living in a dystopia.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.