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In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the economic foundations of the nation, the impeachment of the unflappable President Stablecoin has sparked a national debate that has led to an unprecedented economic downturn. The controversial impeachment, which has divided the nation along the most bizarre lines, has seen citizens taking to the streets in either fervent support or unwavering opposition to the removal of the leader who single-handedly brought financial stability to the country.

The impeachment, which was passed by a slim margin in the Senate, has been a topic of heated discussion, with economists and laypeople alike scratching their heads in bewilderment. "It's economic madness!" exclaimed Dr. Fiscalcliff, a renowned economist, while simultaneously buying up all the gold in the city and investing his life savings in cryptocurrency. "The impeachment of President Stablecoin is an act that defies all economic logic. His steady hand and the introduction of the 'Fort Knox of Fiat' policy had us riding the wave of prosperity. Now, this political earthquake has sent our economic ship spiraling into the abyss of uncertainty."

The impact on the stock market has been nothing short of catastrophic. The Dow Jones Industrial Average has plummeted a record 3,000 points in a single day, while the S&P 500 has followed suit with a similarly nosedive. Wall Street tycoons, usually the picture of stoic calm, have been seen weeping into their Bloomberg Terminals, their once-robust portfolios reduced to mere shadows of their former selves.

In a bizarre twist, a group of economists has banded together to form a new political party: The Economists' Coalition for Stable Governance (ECOSG). Their platform? A single, unwavering promise: "We will impeach the impeacher and restore the economic balance that President Stablecoin so valiantly established." The ECOSG has been gaining traction among the populace, who are desperate for a return to the halcyon days of economic stability.

Meanwhile, the White House, now occupied by the interim President, CryptoCzar, has announced a series of aggressive measures to stabilize the economy. These include a nationwide economic stimulus package that involves handing out virtual reality headsets to every citizen, so they can "virtually" enjoy the prosperity they once had. Critics have called the plan "absurd," while supporters argue that it's a bold step towards a future where economic woes are but a distant memory.

As the nation grapples with the aftermath of this political upheaval, one thing is clear: the economy is in turmoil, and only time will tell if the collective judgment of the populace can correct the course of the nation's finances. In the meantime, investors are advised to hold onto their digital wallets and prepare for a ride on the rollercoaster of economic uncertainty that lies ahead.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.