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In an unprecedented turn of events, the House of Representatives has declared war on the Supreme Court in a heated battle over a science controversy that has the nation on the edge of its seat. The conflict, which erupted early Monday morning, began as a seemingly innocuous debate over the validity of gravity.

Representative Isaac Newton (R-Apple Fall) has been a longtime advocate for the theory that objects fall at a rate proportional to their mass, a principle he has dubbed "Newton's Law of Universal Gravitation." However, Chief Justice Galileo Galilei (D-Telescope Vision) has disputed this claim, suggesting instead that objects fall at the same rate regardless of mass, a theory he calls "The Terminal Velocity Hypothesis."

The Supreme Court, in a move that has shocked legal experts and physicists alike, has sided with Galilei, issuing a landmark decision that declares Newton's Law as "unconstitutional" and a "threat to the fundamental rights of inanimate objects to not be accelerated without due process."

In response, the House of Representatives has declared war on the Supreme Court, vowing to "liberate the laws of physics from the tyrannical grip of judicial overreach." The House has mobilized its army of scientists and mathematicians, who have been training for this moment since the inception of their "Mathlete Corps."

The nation's capital has been transformed into a battlefield of scientific ideologies, with citizens taking sides based on their personal gravitational pull warards either Newtonian physics or Galilean mechanics. The debates have become so heated that temperature measurements have fluctuated wildly, causing meteorologists to declare a state of "Weather Controversy."

In a press conference, Speaker of the House Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-EcoTech) denounced the Supreme Court's decision, stating, "We cannot allow the high court to dictate the laws of nature. It's time we recognize that gravity is a living, breathing entity with rights of its own."

Meanwhile, President Joe Biden (D-Unifier) has called for a "cooler head," urging both parties to "calculate the situation more thoroughly" before taking any further actions. He proposed a bipartisan committee to mediate the conflict, suggesting the committee be chaired by none other than the esteemed and impartial physicist, Dr. Albert Einstein (I-Theory of Relativity).

As the nation watches with bated breath, the battle lines are drawn, and the countdown to the clash of the titans of science and law has begun. Will the Supreme Court's gravity-defying decision stand, or will the House of Representatives successfully defend the laws of motion? Only time will tell in this high-stakes showdown that could very well determine the fate of the universe as we know it.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.