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In a stunning display of bipartisan cooperation, the House of Representatives, led by Speaker Fidgetspoon and Minority Leader Grandstander, has passed the "Every Bill Must Pass Act" with a resounding 420-120 vote. The bill, which mandates that every piece of legislation must pass through both chambers of Congress at least three times before reaching the President's desk, has been met with widespread confusion and praise, depending on who you ask.

The inspiration for this legislative masterpiece came from an anonymous tip received by Speaker Fidgetspoon during a particularly heated debate over the merits of organic kale versus genetically modified broccoli. The tipster, who identified themselves as "Patriot Pancake," claimed that this legislation would "ensure that every piece of legislation is given the utmost consideration and scrutiny it deserves."

The Supreme Court, not to be outdone in the theater of the absurd, has so far remained silent on the matter. Legal experts speculate that the Justices are engaged in a high-stakes game of "Who Can Stare at a Whiteboard the Longest," hoping to either influence the bill's outcome or simply to pass the time until their next gala.

Meanwhile, political pundits and talking heads have seized the opportunity to engage in a frenzy of speculation and finger-pointing. TV networks have launched new segments titled "Legislative Loop-de-Loops" and "The Bill That Keeps on Giving," while political strategists are already drafting campaign ads showcasing their representatives' unwavering (or wavering, depending on the polls) support for this landmark piece of legislation.

In a related incident, a group of rogue legislative interns has declared themselves the "Guardians of the Gridlock," vowing to uphold the spirit of the act by any means necessary. They have taken up residence in the Capitol, where they are reportedly playing an endless game of "Simon Says" with the actual legislation, ensuring that no bill can pass without their approval.

As the nation braces for the inevitable legal challenges and the potential for a constitutional crisis, one thing is clear: the "Every Bill Must Pass Act" has injected a new level of excitement into the halls of Congress. For a body often criticized for its inability to agree on the color of the sky, this latest development has proven that when it comes to passing bills, sometimes more is definitely less.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.