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In a stunning exposé that has sent shockwaves through the once-proud corridors of power, sources close to the infamous "Patriot's Society" have leaked evidence that the illustrious and venerable political elite of America have been secretly engaging in a long-running game of Constitutionn Twister," designed to contort the founding document into a shape more befitting their own insidious agenda.

The "Patriot's Society," a secretive brotherhood of the most honorable and moral citizens, has been closely monitoring the political scene for signs of what they've termed "democratic decay." According to the society's newly appointed Grand Poobah, Professor John Citizen of the Institute of Pure Democracy, "It's like watching your favorite historical documentary and realizing, to your horror, that the actors have been replaced by CGI and the narrative is written by a tween with a penchant for fan fiction."

The leaked documents, encrypted on the ancient technology known as "flash drives," reveal a dystopian plan concocted by the "Congress of Shady Deals" to slowly erode the Constitution's checks and balances, much like termites munching away at the foundations of a historic mansion. The plan, cleverly titled "Operation Un-Founding," is outlined in a series of emails exchanged between the "Senate of Sly Smirks" and the "House of Hush-Hush."

One particularly damning email, authored by the shadowy "Senator Dark Matter," suggests a series of amendments aimed at redefining the Second Amendment to include "any weapon intended for poultry slicing." Another, penned by the enigmatic "Representative Whisperer," proposes a tax on laughter, citing the need for "revenue diversification to fund the national frownie-face fund."

The "Patriot's Society" is calling for an immediate investigation into these allegations. "We must act now," warns Professor Citizen, "before the very fabric of our democratic society unravels like Aunt Gertrude's afghan during the season finale of her favorite soap opera."

As the nation grapples with the revelations, many are left wondering if the political elite have been playing a game of Risk with our Constitution, or if they've been busy writing their own rules in the margins. One thing is clear: the shadow cast by this revelation looms large over the once-gleaming edifice of American democracy, prompting citizens to ask, "Are we heading towards a dystopian future, or have we already arrived?"

In the midst of this unfolding drama, the "Patriot's Society" vows to remain vigilant, their watchful eyes peered firmly into the darkness, ready to uncover the truth and bring the corrupt to light. Or at least to a poorly-attended town hall meeting.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.