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In a stunning turn of events, the Supreme Court has delivered a ruling that could send shockwaves through the very fabric of American governance. In a 5-4 decision, the Court has determined that any sitting president or vice president can be immediately impeached by a simple majority vote in the House of Representatives, bypassing the usual judicial process for impeachment trials.

The ruling, which came as a shock to political pundits and legal experts alike, stems from a case brought forward by a group of citizens who were tired of waiting for their elected officials to be held accountable. The plaintiffs, led by a man named Jebediah P. Picketers, argued that the current impeachment process was "unbearably slow and cumbersome," and that "in today's fast-paced world, we need swift justice, not this antiquated, snail-like deliberation."

The Court, in a surprisingly satirical opinion written by Justice Fiona Frivolity, agreed. Justice Frivolity, known for her colorful opinions and penchant for the dramatic, stated that "the Framers intended for impeachment to be a tool for immediate removal of officials who commit high crimes and misdemeanors, not a bureaucratic gauntlet that could take months or even years to complete."

As a result of this ruling, the impeachment process has been streamlined to a point where the Senate, once the final arbiter, is now reduced to a mere rubber stamp. The Senate's role has been redefined to a mere formality, where their verdict is predetermined by the House's initial vote. This has led to predictions of a new era of legislative efficiency, with some senators claiming they can now "focus on more important issues, like debating the merits of intergalactic space travel or the best type of cheese for national sandwiche picnics."

Politicians on both sides of the aisle have expressed outrage and bewilderment at the decision. Senator Pompous Grumblington (R-SW) declared, "This is an affront to the democratic process! The Senate is now a mere shadow of its former self, a glorified panel for administrative paperwork!" Meanwhile, Senator Fiery Phoenix (D-MN) exclaimed, "The people's voices have been silenced! This decision undermines the very essence of our constitutional framework!"

In the midst of this controversy, the White House, occupied by President Bigly Donald (R) and Vice President Tiny Hands Pence (R), released a joint statement claiming that the decision was "unfair to the executive branch" and promised to "challenge this ruling with every legal means at our disposal."

As the nation braces for the potential political showdown of the century, one thing is clear: the government powers controversy has officially been set on fire, and it's anyone's guess where the smoke will lead.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.