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In a move that has left political pundits scratching their heads and American citizens both confused and oddly reassured, Congress has unveiled its latest strategy to protect the freedom of the United States. Dubbed "Operation Liberty Through Lens," the plan is as ambitious as it is bizarre.

At the heart of this strategy lies the belief that the nation's liberties can be best safeguarded by engaging in competitive strategy games, specifically those involving historical figures. To this end, Congress has formed two teams, the "Patriotic Pioneers" and the "Founding Fathers," led by none other than Sens. Maps McGridlock (R-Va.) and Stratego Schiff (D-Ca.).

The two teams will reportedly engage in a series of high-stakes games modeled after classic board games like Risk and Axis & Allies, but with a twist. Each turn in the game will represent a legislative session, and each move, a piece of legislation. The first team to successfully navigate the complex political landscape, pass significant reforms, and avoid impeachment or a government shutdown, wins the right to enact their policies IRL.

The public is invited to attend these sessions, which will be held in the Capitol Rotunda and streamed live on C-SPAN, renamed "C-Spawn" for the duration of the games. Viewers are encouraged to cheer on their favorite senators and representatives as they strategically position their Cheese-Plexus troops (standing in for American citizens) and launch diplomatic missions (lobbying efforts) to secure alliances with key historical figures, including Alexander the Great and Cleopatra.

The inaugural match saw a surprise victory for the Founding Fathers, who outmaneuvered the Patriotic Pioneers with a cleverly executed "Hail Mary" pass, sending a delegate to the past to consult with none other than Thomas Jefferson, who allegedly offered sage advice on crafting a "Declaration of Independence from Stagnation."

Critics have slammed the initiative as a frivolous diversion from the pressing issues facing the nation, while supporters argue that it is a genius way to simulate the complexities of governance in a format that is both engaging and educational.

When reached for comment, Speaker of the House Roll Call Ryan (R-Wis.) simply shrugged and said, "We've tried everything else. Why not give strategy games a shot? It's either this or another round of 'Dodge the Shutdown.' Plus, I've always been a fan of games that end with 'Conquest.'"

In related news, the National Park Service has announced a new partnership with Congress, offering guided tours of the nation's Capitol, now reimagined as a life-sized game board complete with playing pieces representing each member of Congress. Visitors can even purchase a "Freedom die" to determine which historical exhibit they should visit next.

As America watches with bated breath, the question on everyone's mind remains: Will our elected officials roll the dice and take a chance on this unconventional approach to governance, or will they land on a "Game Over" scenario that could spell disaster for the republic? Only time—and perhaps, Lady Luck—will tell.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.