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In a stunning turn of events that has left constitutional scholars and political pundits scratching their heads in equal measure, the recent campaign promises have set the stage for a radically new interpretation of the Constitution. This new vision, which some are calling "Taxation 2077," promises to redefine the concept of taxation, and with it, the fabric of American society as we know it.

At the forefront of this constitutional revolution is none other than the charismatic and enigmatic Senator Dollarbills, a man whose campaign slogan, "Make Taxes Fun Again," has become the rallying cry for a faction of citizens who believe that the current tax code is as outdated as a floppy disk drive. Senator Dollarbills, a man whose fashion sense is as bold as his economic plans, has been seen sporting a suit made entirely of holographic dollar bills, a subtle nod to his vision of a future where taxes are collected not in cold, hard cash, but in something more... abstract.

According to insider sources close to the senator's campaign, the new constitution will introduce a revolutionary form of taxation that includes not just money, but also time, social media influence, and even the genetic material that makes you, well, you. "Imagine a world where your annual tax return isn't a form to be filed, but a DNA sample to be submitted," one campaign aide mused. "Or where your social media presence is taxed based on the number of followers you have. It's a brave new world!"

The implications of this new taxation system are both thrilling and dystopian. On one hand, it promises to create a society where every citizen contributes to the national pot in a way that reflects their individuality and social standing. On the other, it raises concerns about privacy, equity, and the potential for a new class system based on one's genetic makeup or online popularity.

Moreover, the proposed constitution is rumored to include a clause that would allow for the establishment of a "Ministry of Futurism," tasked with ensuring that all future laws align with the evolving nature of technology and society. This ministry would have the power to oversee the integration of AI governance, intergalactic trade agreements, and the integration of human consciousness into the cloud.

As the nation braces itself for what many are calling the most transformative constitutional amendment since the ratification of the Bill of Rights, one thing is clear: the future of taxation—and by extension, the future of America—is looking decidedly futuristic. Whether this will lead to a utopian society where taxation is a seamless part of daily life, or a dystopian nightmare where the government has its fingers in every pie (quite literally), remains to be seen.

In the meantime, the public is urged to prepare for a world where their tax deductions might just be the number of steps they walk each year, or the quality of their dream journal. After all, as Senator Dollarbills would say, "If you're not paying with your time, your tweets, or your genes, are you really contributing to the greater good?"

Stay tuned as this story develops, and remember: in the age of Taxation 2077, nothing is off the table, and every aspect of your life could be subject to a tax... or a tax credit.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.