Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation both bewildered and mildly amused, it has come to light that the recent political showdown in Congress was not, as many believed, a sincere pursuit of justice or a genuine debate over economic policy. No, my fellow citizens, this was merely the latest season of the hit reality TV show Congresssional Dramas: Where the Economy and Impeachment Never Sleep."

Insiders are now revealing that the entire spectacle was orchestrated by the shadowy figure known only as "The Scriptwriter," a mysterious puppet master whose identity and political affiliations remain as elusive as a politician's promise. The Scriptwriter, it seems, has been pulling the strings of our nation's leaders, ensuring that the plot twists were both unexpected and ratings-friendly.

The main character of this political soap opera is none other than Rep. Impeachment-Happy, a congressperson whose sole ambition appears to be to collect impeachments like a Pokémon Go enthusiast collects rare creatures. With a record-breaking six impeachments under his belt, Rep. Impeachment-Happy has single-handedly kept the show's drama at a fever pitch.

Meanwhile, Sen. Economic-Guru, a man whose economic theories could make even Milton Friedman's head spin, has been at the forefront of the fiscal drama. His grandiose plans to "revolutionize" the economy have been as popular as a fruitcake at a barbecue, yet he remains undeterred, plowing ahead with the same zeal as a shopper on Black Friday.

The show's plot thickened when it was revealed that the economic package being debated, affectionately dubbed "The Great American Financial Follies," was less about helping the common man and more about lining the pockets of the show's producers. The bill, which promised to "stimulate the economy," was actually a cleverly disguised scheme to funnel taxpayer money into a new theme park dedicated to the glories of Congressional bipartisanship (because nothing says "unity" like a multi-million dollar amusement park).

As the impeachment proceedings and economic debates reached their crescendo, the American public was treated to a series of performances so theatrical that even Shakespeare would have taken notes. Witness the impassioned soliloquy of Sen. Economic-Guru, as he explained the intricacies of supply-side economics to a room full of people who had zoned out after the first "supply."

In the end, Rep. Impeachment-Happy's latest impeachment bid was, predictably, shot down by a senate with the partisanship of a middle school lunch table. But fear not, dear viewers, for this is only the mid-season finale. The Scriptwriter has promised that next season will bring even more drama, intrigue, and, of course, the never-ending saga of economic and political gamesmanship.

So, as the credits roll on this chapter of our national drama, remember to tune in next session, where the plot will thicken, the characters will become even more caricatured, and the line between reality and political theater will blur even further. After all, in the world of Congresssional Dramas," the only certainty is that the show must go on.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.