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In an unprecedented and jaw-dropping exposé, documents obtained by our undercover team at The Onion have revealed that the United States Senate has been hosting a series of highly competitive and clandestine strategy games to rig elections. These games, which have been taking place in the hallowed halls of Congress, are not your typical board game nights or casual rounds of Risk. No, these are elaborate, high-stakes contests where senators don't just vote on legislation; they vie for political dominance using a blend of cunning, charm, and an alarming amount of Monopoly money.

The leaked papers, which have been meticulously logged and annotated by a mysterious figure known only as "The Game Master," detail the intricate rules and strategies employed by senators from both sides of the aisle. The games, which bear names like "The Chessboard," "Monopoly of Power," and "Risk and Reward," are designed to simulate real-world political scenarios, but with a twist: the outcomes can directly influence the actual election results.

For instance, "The Chessboard" involves senators moving their pieces across a giant map of the United States, capturing territories by winning legislative battles. The first senator to control all major media outlets and social media platforms is declared the winner and, more importantly, the one who sets the narrative for the upcoming elections.

In "Monopoly of Power," participants use Monopoly money to buy and sell influence, with the ultimate goal of monopolizing key Senate committees. The senator who amasses the most virtual wealth by passing legislation that favors their corporate backers is hailed as the game's champion, and is said to have a significant advantage in the real-world funding of their electionion campaign.

"Risk and Reward" is perhaps the most scandalous of the games. It involves senators betting actual campaign funds on the outcomes of legislative votes. The stakes are high, with the potential to either secure a political stronghold or lose everything in a single, fateful roll of the dice.

The revelation of these secret strategy games has sent shockwaves through the political world, with both parties vehemently denying any involvement. Meanwhile, the American public is left to ponder the extent to which their elected officials are playing games with their democracy. As the nation grapples with the implications of this exposé, one thing is clear: the Senate's secret strategy games may just be the most serious threat to fair elections since the invention of the Electoral College.

In a statement, the Senate Office of Public Affairs claimed that the documents were "clearly a forgery," and that any similarities to actual events were purely coincidental. However, as our investigative team continues to sift through the evidence, it becomes increasingly clear that the game is indeed on, and the stakes have never been higher.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.