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In a move that has left political pundits scratching their heads and dystopian novelists nodding in approval, Congress has unanimously approved the "End-of-Days Economic Stability Act" (EDESA), a bill that promises to stabilize the nation's economy amidst what many are calling the imminent onset of a dystopian disaster.

The bill, which was introduced by the enigmatic and surprisingly bipartisan Representative Doomsday (RD), outlines a series of radical economic measures designed to ensure financial stability even as the country grapples with the looming threat of societal collapse. RD, a political chameleon known for his ability to switch allegiances faster than a termite in a damp sock, has managed to unite both Democrats and Republicans under the banner of fiscal responsibility.

One of the most controversial aspects of EDESA is the creation of a new government-sponsored entity, the "Department of Dystopian Development" (DDD). This agency will be tasked with not only predicting but also actively orchestrating the transition into a post-apocalyptic economy. The DDD, according to RD, will "leverage the unprecedented opportunities that a dystopian disaster will inevitably bring."

Critics of the bill argue that EDESA is a thinly veiled attempt to line the pockets of the wealthy while the rest of the country is busy ducking flying vehicles and avoiding roving bands of marauders. However, proponents of the bill, including a surprisingly vocal group of survivalists and prepper communities, hail it as a visionary piece of legislation that will ensure the survival of the American way of life, even if that way of life involves wearing hazmat suits and foraging for edible scorpions.

In a statement that has since gone viral, RD assured the public that "with the right economic framework in place, we can transform this potential catastrophe into a series of lucrative investment opportunities and first-rate reality TV shows." The bill's passage comes as a shock to many, who had assumed that the current political climate was too divisive for any major legislation to pass.

As the country prepares for what some are calling the "Great Convergence" of economic and societal collapse, RD's bill offers a glimmer of hope to those who believe that, in the face of an impending dystopian future, the only way is up. Or, more accurately, underground, where the newly minted DDD has reportedly set up its first subterranean branch office.

In a final, dramatic gesture, RD concluded the bill's passage by declaring, "We are not just preparing for a disaster; we are preparing for a future where America comes out on top, even if that future looks like something straight out of a science fiction novel."

As the nation braces itself for what lies ahead, investors and doomsday preppers alike are asking themselves: Could Representative Doomsday's economic plan actually work? Only time—and a potential dystopian disaster—will tell.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.