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In a stunning turn of events that has left the nation's capital buzzing with rumors and conspiracy theories, the House of Representatives has officially impeached the esteemed Head of the National Science Foundation, Dr. Factchecker, over a controversial scientific study that has ignited the fiercest political battle since the Great Bipartisan Debate of 2020.

The study in question, titled "The Impact of Climate Change on the Lifespan of Political Career Durations," was published in the prestigious journal "Climate and Politics Today." It concluded that global warming could potentially shorten the average tenure of a Congressperson by a decade. Dr. Factchecker, known for his unwavering commitment to the truth and scientific integrity, was accused by both sides of the aisle of using taxpayer money to fund a hit piece aimed at legislators of all stripes.

Representative Climate-Denier (R-KY) slammed the study as "the most egregious misuse of science I have ever witnessed," adding that "the last thing we need is a bunch of scientists dictating the length of our political careers. Next thing you know, they'll be telling us the Earth is round!" Meanwhile, Senator Green-Dealer (D-CA) argued that the study was "a clarion call to action," insisting that "if the health of our planet is indeed linked to the longevity of our representatives, then it's high time we take this seriously."

The impeachment proceedings, which were held in a packed chamber with an air of carnival-like atmosphere, featured expert witnesses from both the scienceence and scienceience lobbies. Dr. Factchecker, maintaining his composure amidst the political circus, defended his research as a vital contribution to understanding the intersection of science and policy. He was, however, interrupted by Representative Climate-Denier waving a homemade "Science is Fake" placard, much to the amusement of the public gallery.

As the debate raged on, a group of rogue scientists, calling themselves the "Science Avengers," claimed responsibility for leaking the study to the public, stating that "when science is under attack, we must fight back with humor, irony, and a healthy dose of satire."

In the end, the impeachment of Dr. Factchecker passed with a resounding bipartisan majority, proving that when it comes to science, both Republicans and Democrats can agree on one thing: it's the enemy of the state. Or is it? Only time will tell as the Senate prepares for what is sure to be a spectacular trial that will make the impeachment of the Head of the National Science Foundation the talk of the town, the topic of watercooler conversations, and, inevitably, the subject of a hit TV series that will air sometime in the distant future.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.