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In a stunning display of political one-upmanship, the Grand Old Party (GOP) has recently proposed a bill that would reallocate the entirety of the National Science Foundation's budget to fund a new reality television show. The show, aptly named "Futurism Follies," will feature political hopefuls competing in challenges that test their understanding of science and technology, with the ultimate goal of convincing the American public that they, the contestants, are the most qualified to lead the nation into a bright, futuristic tomorrow.

The bill, introduced by the enigmatic Senator Buzz Aldrin (R-Moon), argues that the American people are more interested in entertainment than in the dry, technical research that has traditionally been the foundation of American innovation. "The American people want to see their leaders engage with science in a way that's accessible, relatable, and, most importantly, ratings-friendly," Aldrin stated, flashing a grin as wide as the Grand Canyon.

The President, a figure as elusive as a ghost in a fog machine malfunction, is said to be weighing their options between vetoing the bill and secretly auditioning for a cameo on the show. Insiders close to the President report that they are torn between the moral imperative to support scientific research and the tempting prospect of national fame, a dilemma as complex as a quantum physics equation solved by a caffeinated Albert Einstein.

Meanwhile, the scientific community has responded with a mixture of outrage and dark humor. Nobel laureates and renowned scientists have taken to Twitter, sharing memes and GIFs as a form of protest. "If we're going to be replaced by a reality show, I demand at least 15 minutes of fame and a personal stylist," tweeted Dr. Jane Goodall, PhD in Chimp Whispering.

As the nation watches with bated breath, the future of American science hangs in the balance, held hostage by the whims of political entertainment. Will the President choose to fund the quest for knowledge or cash in on the fleeting glow of reality TV fame? Only time will tell, and as we all know, time is just a social construct, so it's not like it's running out or anything.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.