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In a blockbuster exposé that has sent shockwaves through the nation's capital, a clandestine alliance between disgraced politicians and deep-pocketed corporations has been uncovered, plotting to rewrite the Constitution to suit their insatiable greed.

At the helm of this shadowy cabal is none other than Senator UberRich, a man whose personal fortune rivals that of small countries and whose political record is as clean as a freshly printed $100 bill. Alongside him, the infamous lobbyist, LobbyMan, whose influence over legislators has been rumored to be the key to unlocking the secrets of political immortality.

Their audacious plan? To subtly amend the Constitution to legalize the direct taxation of citizens' thoughts, a dystopian move that would allow the Government to levy fines based on the "taxable emotional value" of a citizen's inner monologue.

In a leaked manifesto, the conspirators justify their actions by citing the need for a "more efficient" government, which they claim can only be achieved by monetizing the thoughts of the populace. "Why should the Government have to fund itself through outdated means like income tax or sales tax when it can directly tap into the limitless financial potential of human consciousness?" a source close to the operation said, with a straight face.

The proposed amendment, cleverly titled the "Cognitive Capital Contribution Act," would grant the Government unprecedented access to private thought processes, with a special focus on identifying and taxing "positive affluent thoughts" that could potentially boost the nation's GDP, simply by existing.

Critics of the plan argue that this is a blatant violation of individual rights and privacy, but proponents counter that it's a "progressive" step towards a future where the Government can optimize the country's economic output by taxing success at the source.

As the story broke, Senator UberRich issued a statement claiming that the leaked documents were nothing more than "a creative brainstorming session," and that no actual legislation was being drafted. However, whistleblowers have since come forward with irrefutable evidence, including detailed blueprints for a "Thought Taxation Bureau" and a series of internal emails where the senator enthusiastically discusses the potential revenue from "mental real estate."

The nation watches with bated breath as the scandal unfolds, with many citizens questioning the true nature of their representatives' intentions. Will the Constitution stand firm against this latest assault, or will the allure of fiscal prosperity lead to its transformation into a document that no longer protects the rights of the people but instead, dictates the very thoughts they dare to think?

Stay tuned as this story develops, and remember, in the age of information, sometimes the most outrageous headlines carry a kernel of truth. Or is that just another thought we should tax?

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.