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In a shocking twist to the political landscape, a little-known tax policy has unexpectedly emerged as the cornerstone of the upcoming elections. Dubbed the "War Tax," this new legislative measure proposes that every citizen who owns a lawnmower must pay an annual tax equivalent to the cost of a high-end lawnmower. The rationale behind this policy is to prepare the nation's coffers for potential global conflicts by ensuring that every citizen is armed with the finest gardening equipment, thus transforming every suburban yard into an impromptu fortress, ready to fend off international aggressors.

Congressperson Manicured Lawn, a prominent voice in the gardening caucus, hailed the War Tax as a "game-changer," assuring the public that with these state-of-the-art lawnmowers, "our suburbs will be too fortified for any invader." Political pundits are abuzz with speculation about how this tax policy could sway the elections, with some predicting a surge in the polls for candidates who are seen as "fervent lawnmower enthusiasts."

Meanwhile, the military-industrial complex, once a perennial powerhouse in the defense budget, has found itself outmaneuvered, as citizens across the nation take matters into their own hands, quite literally. Stock prices for traditional defense contractors have plummeted, while lawnmower manufacturers like the Hay-maker Corporation are soaring, with reports of a record-breaking quarter, fueled by government contracts alone.

Opponents of the War Tax argue that this policy is not only fiscally irresponsible but also a thinly veiled political strategy to divert attention from pressing issues such as healthcare and education. "Instead of investing in the well-being of our citizens, we're investing in the finest blades for the finest lawns," said Senator Wilting Flowers in a heated debate on the Senate floor.

As Election Day draws near, candidates are scrambling to take a stance on the War Tax, with some calling for an audit on how lawnmower taxes will actually contribute to national defense, and others doubling down on their commitment to "greening the troops." The nation watches with bated breath as the battle over taxation and global tensions takes an unexpectedly horticultural turn.

In related news, a new political action committee, "Mow the Vote," has emerged, advocating for mandatory lawn maintenance as a prerequisite for voting eligibility. Their slogan, "A well-mowed lawn is a well-governed country," has quickly gone viral, adding another layer of intrigue to the already convoluted political climate.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.