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In a shocking twist of events that has left political pundits and sci-fi enthusiasts alike rubbing their eyes in disbelief, a recent scandal involving the illicit use of a time-traveling device has thrust the nation's capital into a realm of intrigue that rivals even the most outlandish episodes of "Back to the Future."

Sources close to the investigation have revealed that the esteemed and notably forward-thinking Republican Senator, Jump-Start Johnson, was caught using a prototype time machine to woo his high school sweetheart, a Democratic Congresswoman from a parallel universe, who coincidentally bears a striking resemblance to the current Speaker of the House, Temporal Taylor.

The incident, which occurred during a classified committee meeting on futuristic technologies, took a turn for the bizarre when Senator Johnson, wearing a steampunk-inspired jumpsuit, dashed through the halls of Congress, narrowly escaping the grasp of security and his own party's impeachment hearings.

The time-traveling liaison, which has been dubbed "Project Timeless Romance," is said to have been conducted under the guise of a national security initiative. However, it appears that the only threat to national security was the potential exposure of the fact that Senator Johnson's heart was beating to the rhythm of a tune composed by none other than the Founding Fathers—in an alternate reality, naturally.

The discovery of the illicit time-travel escapades has since sparked a frenzy of cross-party collaboration, as both Republicans and Democrats grapple with the ethical implications of inter-temporal affairs and the potential for historical paradoxes.

In a remarkable display of unity, the leaders of both parties have banded together to form a special bipartisan committee dedicated to exploring the potential legal and philosophical ramifications of time travel. The committee, aptly named the "Temporal Ethics and National Defense" (TEND) task force, has vowed to address the anomalous situation with the seriousness it warrants, all while maintaining a straight face in front of the press.

As the TEND task force delves into the complexities of interdimensional relations and the potential for altering the course of history, one thing is clear: the future of bipartisanship has never looked so... retro.

In the meantime, Senator Johnson, who has since returned from his escapades and taken up residence in a undisclosed temporal isolation bubble, is facing calls for impeachment from both sides of the aisle. However, the unprecedented nature of this scandal may just lead to the first bipartisan impeachment in history, proving that even in the face of futuristic scandals, old traditions die hard—especially when they involve time-traveling love stories that span the fabric of time itself.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.