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In a shocking turn of events, the newly passed "War is Peace" act has completely overhauled the world of geopolitics, turning traditional warfare on its head. The Act, which was unanimously passed by the House of Economic Representatives, states that the best way to ensure freedom and promote economic growth is by engaging in perpetual warfare.

Congressman John "Buy More" Thompson, the mastermind behind the legislation, explained that "by constantly being at war, we create a never-ending market for arms manufacturing. It's a win-win situation: we keep the economy booming, and we ensure freedom for our citizens by fighting off oppressors."

In a related move, the Department of Defense has launched a new initiative called "Operation Cash Flow." The program aims to incentivize soldiers to stay in combat zones longer by offering them bonuses, double-time pay, and stock options in the top defense contractors. As one infantry officer put it, "I'm not just fighting for my country; I'm investing in my 401(k)."

The public, initially skeptical, has largely embraced the new war economy, with patriotic fervor reaching record highs. The latest trending hashtag, #FightAndShop, encourages citizens to buy goods from businesses owned by military veterans, thereby further stimulating the economy.

On the international front, foreign governments are scrambling to keep up with the United Economy's aggressive strategy. In a press conference, President Victor "Peace Dividend" Hale announced a series of trade agreements that promise to double the size of the country's GDP by 2025, primarily through the export of military equipment and services.

Environmentalists, however, are not amused. The increased military activity has led to the "accidental" discovery of new oil reserves, prompting a dramatic rise in fossil fuel extraction. In a bold move, Greenpeace activists have started a campaign called "Eco-Warriors," promising to fight back against the encroachment of industrial development on nature.

As the world watches this unprecedented economic and military expansion, one can't help but wonder if the pursuit of freedom and prosperity can truly be measured in the scale of global conflict and consumerism. Meanwhile, the stock market hits all-time highs, and the military-industrial complex expands its influence, ensuring that war, in fact, is peace—at least according to the new economic legislation.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.