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In an unprecedented display of bipartisanship that has left political pundits and civic enthusiasts equally bewildered and intrigued, a new piece of legislation has been introduced in the Capitol, dubbed the "AI Libertas Act of 2023." Sponsored by an unlikely duo, Senator Robo-Hand and Representative Algorithm-Face, the bill promises to "enshrine the inalienable right of Americans to be free from the shackles of artificial intelligence, today and tomorrow."

The bill's primary objective is to guarantee that every American citizen has the right to live without the influence of AI, ensuring that the sacred act of deciding what color socks to wear in the morning, or whether to use ketchup or mayonnaise on a hot dog, remains the sole purview of human will, free from silicon interference.

The bill's language is so meticulously crafted that it leaves no stone unturned. It outlaws AI from making any decision that impacts a human's daily life, from selecting their romantic partners to choosing their career paths. "We're creating a world where humans are in charge, and AI serves us," explained Senator Robo-Hand in a press conference. "We don't want our children growing up in a world where machines make all the choices, do we?"

Representative Algorithm-Face, with a knowing smile, added, "Think of AI as the butler in 'The Jetsons.' It's there to assist, not to rule."

Critics of the bill argue that it's akin to fighting the tide or, more fittingly, trying to put the genie back in the bottle. Futurists and technologists warn that the genie, in this case, is not only out but is also busily redecorating the house. They point out that AI is already deeply embedded in everything from healthcare diagnostics to financial trading, and attempting to ban it could have unforeseen, catastrophic consequences.

"It's like trying to outlaw gravity," quipped one Silicon Valley investor. "Good luck with that."

However, the bill's proponents claim that it's not about stopping progress but rather about steering it in a direction that prioritizes human agency. "We want to ensure that technology enhances humanity, not replaces it," declared a spokesperson for the Coalition for Human Autonomy.

The AI Libertas Act of 2023 has sparked a national debate on the role of AI in society, with talking heads and social media mavens weighing in from all sides. Meanwhile, the rest of the world watches with a mixture of amusement and bemusement, as the land of the free and the home of the brave takes a stand against its most potentially liberating inventions.

As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the future is not just uncertain; it's getting a vote. And in this case, the vote is rigged in favor of human whimsy over silicon smarts. Whether this will lead to a renaissance of human decision-making or a comedic downfall of epic proportions remains to be seen. But one thing's for sure—it's going to be one heck of a show to watch.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.