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In a move that has left political pundits and tax professionals scratching their heads in bewilderment, the Democratic-led Congress has unveiled a groundbreaking tax overhaul proposal that aims to fund the nation's latest military endeavors. The initiative, dubbed "Taxation Futurism for War Enhancement" (TFWE), proposes a radical new tax system that includes a suite of absurdly high levies on everything from extraterrestrial commerce to time-traveling tourists.

The TFWE plan, outlined in a glossy 500-page report titled "A New Dawn of Prosperity through Intergalactic and Temporal Tax Synergy," suggests implementing a "Quantum Wealth Tax" on financial transactions that occur in less than a planck length of time, a "Wormhole Capital Gains Tax" on investments that traverse cosmic rifts, and a "Flux Capacitor Income Surcharge" for those earning income from inventions that defy the laws of physics.

Critics are baffled, with one tax expert stating, "It's like they've been binge-watching 'The Expanse' and 'Back to the Future' back-to-back and decided to draft legislation based on those plotlines."

The proposal has sparked a fiery debate across the country, with many questioning the constitutionality of taxing phenomena that are, as of now, purely theoretical. Meanwhile, defense contractors and sci-fi enthusiasts are rubbing their hands in glee at the prospect of funding the next generation of warfare with money from unicorn horn trades and alien antique sales.

In a statement, the Chair of the House Armed Services Committee, Representative Starlord (D-Galaxy), defended the proposal, saying, "Our adversaries are not bound by the constraints of time and space. We must harness the power of taxation futurism to ensure our military readiness against any and all extraterrestrial or temporal threats."

Conspiracy theorists have already linked the TFWE to a secret government plan to monetize secret space programs and fund a clandestine war against an intergalactic federation, while others speculate that the true purpose is to distract from the national debt by taxing revenue from parallel universe commerce.

As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the future of American taxation and military funding has never been so... out of this world. Stay tuned as this story develops at warp speed.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.