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In an unprecedented move that has left political analysts both confused and exhilarated, a group of Democratic representatives in Congress has taken a hard turn from their usual legislative proceedings and decided to protest the recent war funding bill by engaging in a 72-hour gaming marathon on the Capitol steps.
The leader of the pack, Representative Joypad Thompson (D-Wash), stood before a sea of flashing gaming consoles and a banner that read "Gamer Peace Initiative" and declared, "We are here today to send a message loud and clear to the powers that be: we will not stand for endless wars that drain our nation's resources while we, the people's elected officials, could be doing what we do best—playing video games and representing the gaming community!"
As the marathon commenced, lawmakers were seen passionately debating the merits of different gaming strategies while simultaneously live-streaming their gameplay to their constituents. The diverse array of games being played ranged from the classic 'Space Invaders' to the modern hit 'Fortnite', with representatives taking turns to argue over budget allocations and virtual turf wars.
The Republican-led Senate, unamused by the display, has condemned the protest, with Senate Majority Leader Rino Mitt (R-Utah) stating, "This is not a serious approach to national security. If these representatives are serious about ending the wars, they should put down their controllers and pick up the phone to negotiate, not their Twitter accounts to troll."
Meanwhile, the gaming community has shown an outpouring of support for the initiative, with over a million viewers tuning in to watch the congressional representatives square off in virtual battles. The hashtag #GameOverWars has been trending worldwide, as gamers from all walks of life join in the call for peace.
As the marathon continues, the Democratic representatives remain adamant that this unconventional method is their way of "leveling up" the national conversation around military spending. Whether this will lead to a real-world impact on policy remains to be seen, but one thing is for certain: the Capitol has never been this level of lit.
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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.
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