Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In a stunning and entirely unverified revelation, sources close to a shadowy organization known as the "Future-Proofers" have leaked documents that suggest the Constitution of the United States is currently undergoing a radical rewrite. The operation, codenamed "Parchment 2.0," aims to update the antiquated legal framework to better accommodate the whims of a futuristic government that has yet to be elected, and whose policies are rumored to involve teleportation and intergalactic diplomacy.

The leaked documents, written in a language that seems to be a bizarre mix of Legalese and ancient Sanskrit, outline a new section that would allow the President, affectionately nicknamed "PresiFuturama," to bypass Congress in times of "quantum emergencies." These emergencies, according to our sources, include anything from alien invasions to the sudden availability of unlimited pizza.

Furthermore, the new Constitution apparently grants the President unprecedented powers to pardon not only humans but also sentient AI and autonomous vehicles, should they ever be charged with a crime. This has sparked a wave of controversy, with pundits on both sides of the political aisle accusing each other of leaking the documents to either defame the President or to lay the groundwork for their own future impeachment defenses.

In a heated press conference, the current Speaker of the House, a fiery individual known as "Firebrand McIntense," called the leaks "the most outlandish political game yet," while the Senate Majority Leader, "Silky Sam Senatorial," expressed deep concern about the potential for "constitutional shenanigans."

The White House, for its part, has issued a statement claiming that the leaked documents are nothing more than "an elaborate and somewhat nonsensical prank," and that the President is fully committed to "upholding the original Constitution and the fine tradition of presidential Twitter rants."

As the nation holds its breath, conspiracy theorists have already drawn connections between the leaked documents and a mysterious billionaire, "TechTycoon Tomorrow," who has been investing heavily in futuristic technology and political campaigns. His involvement, or lack thereof, remains to be seen, as does the true nature of the "Parchment 2.0" project.

In related news, a group of historians has banded together to start a "Save the Original Constitution" movement, which is gaining traction on various social media platforms. They argue that while change is necessary, it should be approached with the gravity and ceremony that such a historic document deserves—preferably with a parchment-cutting, quill-signing ceremony hosted by none other than the famed game show host, "Pat Sajak's Historical Revisions."

Stay tuned as this story develops and the future of the Constitution remains shrouded in mystery, intrigue, and a faint, otherworldly glow.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.