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In a move that has left political pundits and tax accountants alike scratching their heads, the Supreme Court has officially declared that the government cannot tax the income of citizens who have yet to be born. This landmark decision, which has been likened to a plot twist from a dystopian novel, comes at a particularly tumultuous time for the nation, smack dab in the middle of an impeachment turmoil that has seen the removal of President Smirkington and the subsequent rise of Vice President Tightlips to the Oval Office.

The ruling, penned by the mysterious and enigmatic Justice Penumbra, states that the unborn have "certain inalienable rights that extend beyond the cradle and into the crib," effectively nullifying the government's claims to their future earnings. The court's reasoning, as only the Supreme Court can, is as complex as it is convoluted, involving quantum taxation theories, time-traveling accountants, and the philosophical musings of a certain bearded philosopher whose name shall remain undisclosed to avoid legal ramifications.

The decision has sparked a flurry of activity on Capitol Hill, where lawmakers are scrambling to understand the implications of this ruling. Some have suggested creating a special task force to track down and tax the progeny of current tax evaders, while others are advocating for a rewrite of the Social Security Act, which now stands as a glaring example of intergenerational theft.

Meanwhile, the impeachment saga continues to unfold, with the Senate grappling with the constitutionality of impeaching a president who has already been impeached once before. In a surprising twist, it has been revealed that the President Emeritus, Smirkington, has been spotted in a hidden bunker beneath the Capitol, frantically plotting his return to power with the help of a cadre of rogue AI advisors.

As the nation grapples with these unprecedented developments, one thing is clear: the future has never been more uncertain, and the government's grasp on the purse strings of those not yet conceived is weaker than ever. It's a brave new world where the unborn hold the power, and tax collectors must look to generations past and future to fill their coffers. The question on everyone's minds is: What could possibly go wrong?

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.