Impeached 2 is an armchair politician's dream. Play today!

In an unprecedented move that has sent shockwaves through the hallowed halls of the Capitol, it has come to light that this year's election is not merely a battle for the hearts and minds of the American electorate, but a clandestine war over the very fabric of the Constitution. At the center of this storm is a secret society of Founding Fathers, who have been meeting in hushed tones under the guise of a reenactment group, to discuss the original intent of the document they helped draft.

According to leaked documents, these modern-day patriots, led by a man known only as "Benjamin E. Franklin," have been orchestrating a series of events designed to subtly shift the interpretation of the Constitution, with particular emphasis on taxation clauses. The group, which refers to itself as "The Continental Quill," claims that their actions are simply a return to the original intent of the framers, who, they argue, never envisioned a system where the wealthy could dodge taxes with the ease of a magician at a state fair.

The implications of this revelation are staggering. Insiders close to "Franklin" suggest that this election cycle could see a surge of candidates who are not only fluent in ancient Greek but also profess a deep understanding of 18th-century agricultural practices, as these are believed to be the true benchmarks for contemporary political Congress/p>

Congress, already reeling from the recent "Great Paper Airplane Debate of 2023," is now facing calls for an emergency session to address the "Quill's" influence on the electoral process. Meanwhile, political pundits are split between those who believe this is a masterstroke of political gamesmanship and those who claim it's just a clever ploy to get people to actually read the Constitution.

In the midst of this constitutional uproar, the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has issued a statement affirming their commitment to the original intent of the framers, which, they assure us, includes the pursuit of tax evaders with the relentlessness of a hound on the scent of a freshly baked ham.

As the nation braces for what could be the most historically informed election in history, voters are urged to consider not just the candidates' policies on healthcare, education, and the environment, but also their knowledge of the Federalist Papers and their ability to recite the Bill of Rights from memory.

In conclusion, while the rest of us were busy arguing over social media about the merits of avocado toast, it seems that the course of American political history may have been subtly redirected by a group of men in tricorn hats. One can only hope that when the dust settles, the Constitution will still be recognizable, and that our taxes will be, at the very least, legally paid.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.