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In a bizarre and unprecedented turn of events, the United States Congress has officially declared war on the President, a move that has left the Supreme Court scratching their heads in bewilderment. In a dramatic session held under the dome of the Capitol, which was adorned with an array of political yard signs from both parties, the House of Representatives, led by the charismatic and eccentric Speaker Fibber McGee, passed a resolution with a staggering 100% consensus, declaring the President's recent actions as an "unconstitutional act of high treason against the very fabric of our nation's most sacred document."

The resolution, which was penned by the eloquent and sharp-tongued wordsmith Senator Linguini, claims that the President has been engaging in "tyrannical behavior," including but not limited to, attempting to single-handedly amend the Constitution using nothing more than a Sharpie. The document, which reads like a cross between a political manifesto and a soap opera script, accuses the President of trying to "redraw the boundaries of states to favor his political agenda," and of "using the Oval Office as a personal tanning booth."

Meanwhile, the President, known for his flamboyant tweets and penchant for golf, has responded to the Congressional declaration of war by tweeting a series of cryptic messages, including a picture of a giant hamster wheel with the caption, "The swamp just got a lot smaller!" He has also announced his intention to hold a Constitutionnal Convention" in his golf club, where he plans to "negotiate" with the Founding Fathers, who he claims have been "ghosting" him since he took office.

The Supreme Court, which has been largely silent throughout this political drama, has called an emergency session to determine whether Congress has the legal standing to declare war on the President, or if this is just a desperate attempt to divert attention from their own scandals. In a leaked memo obtained by our correspondent, one of the Justices was overheard muttering, "I didn't sign up for this. I just wanted to watch cat videos in peace."

As the nation holds its breath, political pundits and comedy show hosts alike are speculating about the potential outcomes of this constitutional showdown. Will the President emerge victorious, further solidifying his position as the Supreme Ruler of the Free World? Or will Congress manage to band together long enough to pass a resolution that isn't just a tax hike or a renaming of a post office? Only time will tell, but one thing is for certain: this is one reality TV show that even the most hardcore fans of "Survivor" and "The Bachelor" wouldn't dare to binge-watch.

In the midst of this political firestorm, a group of dedicated citizen activists, known as the "Grassroots Gadflies," have taken to the streets, armed with nothing but placards and a shared belief that the political class has finally jumped the shark. Their slogan? "It's Time for a New Script!"

Stay tuned to this channel for live coverage of the political drama that is sure to have historians scratching their heads for generations to come. Will the United States experience its first constitutional coup, or will this be just another episode in the never-ending soap opera of American politics? The world waits with bated breath.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.