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In a blockbuster exposé that has sent shockwaves through the nation's capital, a clandestine group of government insiders, known as the "Hidden Hand Cabal," has been uncovered for their audacious plot to rewrite the Constitution. This elite panel, which includes a former rocket scientist, a disgraced economist, and a retired reality TV star, has been meeting in secret for months to devise a system of "voluntary taxes" that would, in their own words, "slip the economic noose" around the American public without their knowledge.

The plan, dubbed "Operation Financial Camouflage," involves a series of "innovative" economic measures that would allow the government to tap into citizens' bank accounts under the guise of scientific research. The former rocket scientist, Dr. Ignatius "Rocket Rod" Blastoff, has been leading the charge, asserting that the Constitution's economic clauses are "outdated" and in dire need of an interstellar upgrade.

The proposed amendment, which has been drafted in a language so convoluted that only a select few can decipher it, would grant the federal government the power to levy "voluntary taxes" on citizens' financial transactions. These taxes would be disguised as "micro-contributions" to cutting-edge science projects, which, coincidentally, would be overseen by a newly created Department of Unseen Progress.

Critics of the plan argue that this is nothing short of a constitutional coup, designed to strip Americans of their hard-earned money without their explicit consent. However, the Cabal's spokesperson, former reality TV starlet Glitter Goldstein, has dismissed these concerns as "baseless fear-mongering." She claims that the amendment is a "bold step forward" for the country, promising to usher in a new era of "transparently hidden" fiscal policy.

The revelation of this plan has sparked a firestorm of controversy, with political pundits and average citizens alike questioning the ethics and legality of such a scheme. Meanwhile, the Hidden Hand Cabal remains undeterred, confident that their plan will pass under the radar, much like the taxes they wish to implement.

As the nation grapples with the implications of this potential constitutional crisis, one thing is clear: the line between democracy and subterfuge has never been more blurred. The question on everyone's mind is whether the government's latest scheme to rewrite the Constitution will fly under the radar, or if the American people will see through this veil of fiscal camouflage.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.