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In an extraordinary turn of events, sources within the Capitol have leaked classified documents revealing that the ongoing political drama in Congress is not merely a contest of ideologies, but a clandestine series of strategy games that have been covertly dictating the course of constitutional debates.

The documents, which appear to have been penned by the mysterious "Game Master of the House," detail a complex system of "political chess" where members of Congress are depicted as pawns in an elaborate game designed to test their strategic and critical thinking skills. The game, aptly named "Consti-Conquest," involves intricate maneuvers and the manipulation of legislative pieces to outwit opponents and pass legislation.

Insiders report that the Democratic Party has been secretly training its members in the art of "Diplomatic Deception," a game within the game, which focuses on the subtle art of negotiation and the strategic use of political rhetoric to confuse and outmaneuver their opponents on the chessboard of Capitol Hill. Meanwhile, the opposing faction, known as the Strategists, has been honing their skills in Constitutionnal Combat," a more aggressive approach that emphasizes direct confrontation and constitutional showdowns.

The revelation has sent shockwaves through the political community, with experts warning that the integrity of the legislative process may have been compromised. "It's one thing to engage in strategy games for leisure," said Dr. Constance Clause, a political analyst at the Washington Policy Institute. "But to use these games as a blueprint for governing is outrageous. It's as if we're living in a simulation where the stakes are the freedoms and rights of every American citizen."

In response to the scandal, Speaker of the House Cardboard Cutout announced a bipartisan task force to investigate the allegations. The task force, known as the "House Select Committee on Serious Board Gaming," will explore the extent to which strategy games influence legislative decisions and the potential impact on the democratic process.

As the nation awaits the outcome of this investigation, many are left pondering the true nature of political discourse in modern times. Could it be that the fate of the Constitution is being determined not by the wisdom of elected officials, but by the roll of dice and the throw of strategy game pieces? Only time will tell, but one thing is certain: the political landscape in Congress has never been more... gameified.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.