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In a shocking display of political satire that would make Jonathan Swift proud, a group of forward-thinking Democratic senators, known collectively as the "Futurist Faction," introduced a groundbreaking bill to the Senate this week. The bill, dubbed the "Temporal Progress Act of 2023," aims to completely restructure the United States government, but with a twist that has left political pundits scratching their heads in both confusion and amusement.

The bill proposes the creation of a new Congress, one that would be composed entirely of time travelers. Yes, you heard that right. Time travelers. The rationale behind this, as explained by the lead Futurist Faction senator, Senator Chronos (D-Temporal), is to allow members of Congress to witness and learn from historical events firsthand, thereby gaining unparalleled insight into the law-making process.

"Think of it as a field trip to the past, but with legislative powers," Senator Chronos told a bewildered press corps. "Our representatives will be able to observe the consequences of policies before they are even drafted, ensuring that our laws are not just based on theory, but on empirical evidence from history itself."

The bill also includes provisions for a "Quantum Legislative Chamber," a secure facility where time travelers can draft and debate bills without the risk of altering the timeline. The chamber, equipped with advanced quantum computers, will supposedly allow lawmakers to see the potential outcomes of their decisions in a simulated reality, free from the constraints of linear time.

Critics of the bill have been swift to point out the logistical impossibilities and potential paradoxes of sending elected officials back in time. But the Futurist Faction remains undeterred, insisting that the bill is a necessary step towards a more informed and effective government.

"We are not just dreaming of a brighter future," Senator Chronos declared. "We are taking the bold step of living it, one temporal loop at a time."

In the meantime, the political world watches with a mixture of amusement and skepticism as the Temporal Progress Act of 2023 makes its way through the legislative process. Only time will tell if this satirical bill will become law, or if it will simply fade into the annals of political humor, alongside rubber chickens and whoopee cushions in the halls of power.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.