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In a jaw-dropping turn of events, the United States Senate has proposed a groundbreaking bill that would officially recognize sciencee" as a form of alternative reality, akin to the dystopian worlds depicted in blockbuster hits like "The Hunger Games" and "Mad Max: Fury Road." The bill, aptly named the "Science is So 20th Century Act," was introduced by the illustrious Senator Dullard of Nebraska, alongside his fiery counterpart, Senator Passionflower from the sun-soaked state of Florida.

The Act, which has sparked both outrage and an unprecedented wave of apathy across the nation, seeks to reallocate funds from science programs to the creation of a "National Dystopian Studies Center" (NDSC). This center will serve as a think tank for lawmakers who wish to understand the inner workings of societies where logic, reason, and empirical evidence are but distant memories.

In a press conference, Senator Dullard, sporting a tie so unremarkable it was rumored to have been designed by an AI with a sense of irony, explained that "the American people are tired of these fancy science gadgets and theoretical mumbo-jumbo. They want real solutions, like how to survive in a post-apocalyptic world where the only currency is bottled water and canned beans."

Meanwhile, Senator Passionflower, wearing a helmet adorned with an array of solar-powered wind turbine feathers, declared that sciencee has failed us. It's time we embrace a new era where humans adapt to their environment, rather than trying to control it with their 'facts' and 'evidence.'"

The United States scientific community has responded with a mix of horror and bewilderment. Leading physicist Dr. Sheldon Cooperspan, a man whose hair alone has more credibility than a century of scientific research, slammed the bill, calling it "not only misguided but also a threat to the very fabric of reality as we know it."

As the nation braces for what could be the most bizarre session of Congress in history, citizens from all walks of life are questioning whether this is, in fact, satire. Unfortunately, the line between reality and a dystopian fiction seems to have blurred, leaving the future of American science hanging by a thread—or perhaps, a strand of DNA.

In a related development, Senator Dullard was spotted wearing a pair of vintage rose-tinted glasses, while Senator Passionflower was seen training a pack of radioactive dogs for what she referred to as "future Senate hearings."

The stage is set, and the world watches with bated breath as the United States Senate prepares to decide the fate of science, and possibly the world as we know it. Will reason prevail, or will we all be riding dusty roads in search of gasoline, dodging roving gangs of former scientists wielding petri dishes as weapons? Only time will tell.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.