Impeached 2

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Impeached 2

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Exclusive: Inside the Democrats' Impeachment Strategy to Alter the Course of the Election and Shake Up Capitol Hill

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In a stunning turn of events, sources deep within the bowels of the Democrat Party have revealed an audacious and unorthodox impeachment strategy, aiming to not only influence the upcoming election but to fundamentally alter the political landscape of Capitol Hill.

The plan, dubbed "Operation Insurmountable Odds," was devised by a shadowy coalition of Democrat strategists and rogue historians who believe that impeaching the incumbent President for the third time would catapult their party into an era of unprecedented popularity. The scheme is to introduce a single, highly controversial article of impeachment, accusing the President of "High Crimes and Misdemeanors: Eating a Salad Before Noon."

The decision to focus on this particular transgression was based on exhaustive polling that showed an overwhelming majority of Americans found the act of consuming a salad before noon to be an affront to the very fabric of American society. "It's a clear-cut case of presidential malfeasance," claimed Congresswoman Marsha Whinington (D-Veggie Voters), "How dare he break the sacred lunchtime code? This is a leader who operates outside the bounds of normalcy and decorum!"

The strategy also involves a carefully orchestrated media campaign featuring celebrity endorsements from vegan activists, including the likes of Woody Harvestwood and Leonardo DiCaprio's Plant-Based Double. The campaign will paint the President as a culinary villain, a man who threatens the very sanctity of breakfast-to-lunch transition laws.

In a related development, the Democrats are rumored to have enlisted the help of a time-traveling Benjamin Franklin to provide testimony on the historical significance of lunchtime. The founding father, reportedly found frolicking in a Philadelphia tavern, is said to have remarked, "A president who defies the noon salad decree is a president who defies the will of the people, and perhaps the laws of time and space!"

The Republicans, caught off guard, are scrambling to craft their response. Senate Majority Leader Bill Grumbleton (R-Steak Lovers) denounced the impeachment as a politically motivated stunt, "This is nothing but a desperate attempt to distract from their own scandals and policy failures. Next, they'll be impeaching people for not tipping their baristas adequately!"

As the impeachment inquiry moves forward, political analysts predict a series of highly theatrical hearings, complete with expert witnesses, including a sandwich artist from Subway and a professor of Horticultural Sociology. The trial, expected to last well into the election cycle, will undoubtedly capture the attention of the nation, as the fate of the President's midday meal habits hangs in the balance.

In conclusion, only time will tell if "Operation Insurmountable Odds" will be the game-changer the Democrats are hoping for, or if it will backfire spectacularly, leaving their political strategy pickled in a jar of public ridicule. One thing is certain: Capitol Hill has never seen such a lettuce-driven legislative lunacy.

Can't get enough of politics? Play Impeached 2 and become President of the U.S. today!

This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.

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