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In a shocking turn of events, the United States House of Representatives has passed a landmark bill to regulate the gaming industry, citing a series of recent scientific breakthroughs that have apparently made video games as dangerous as nuclear weapons.

The bill, affectionately dubbed the "Hands Off Our Controllers Act" by its enthusiastic supporters, seeks to establish a federal gaming oversight committee to ensure the ethical production and distribution of video games. Proponents argue that the unprecedented advancements in gaming technology, which now include mind control and time-travel, pose an existential threat to the very fabric of society.

"We're at a crossroads, folks," declared Representative Joystick (R-VR Gaming) on the House floor. "Our children are no longer just playing games; they're living them, marrying them, and in some cases, breeding with them. It's time we take a stand before we all become avatars in a virtual reality dystopia!"

The bill, which passed with an overwhelming bipartisan majority, includes a wide range of provisions, from mandatory game content rating systems to strict regulations on in-game microtransactions. It also calls for the establishment of a National Gaming Academy, tasked with training a new generation of gamers to compete in the upcoming International Esports Olympics.

In a related development, the scientific community has expressed mixed reactions to the proposed regulations. Dr. Buttonmash, a leading expert in virtual reality, warned of the potential for gamingg-induced cognitive dissonance," a condition that could lead to individuals experiencing simultaneous realities. "We're on the brink of a new era," Dr. Buttonmash said. "One where the lines between reality and gaming will blur, potentially leading to a society where our elected officials are chosen by popular vote... in a multiplayer online battle arena."

Meanwhile, the gaming industry has responded with a mixture of defiance and existential dread. Game developers and publishers have called an emergency summit to discuss countermeasures, which reportedly include a secret weapon: a game so immersive and compelling that it will turn every member of Congress into a hardcore gamer.

As the nation braces for the next election, which is rumored to be held in a fully immersive virtual world, political pundits are abuzz with predictions. Will the gaming industry's secret weapon sway the voters? Or will the House's new regulations pave the way for a future where elections are determined by who can score the highest in "Candy Crush: The Political Edition"?

Stay tuned as this story develops, and remember: your next representative could be just a button press away.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.