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In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the political establishment, a deep-cover mole within the Deep State has come forward with evidence that not only is the Deep State a real entity, but it has been orchestrating a decades-long symbiotic relationship with both the Senate and the House of Representatives.

The whistleblower, who goes by the alias "Patriot Pancake," claimed in an exclusive interview with our newspaper that the Deep State has been pulling the strings on Capitol Hill, manipulating legislation and policy to benefit the shadowy cabal of unelected bureaucrats and global elites.

"It's like a game of Risk up in here," Patriot Pancake explained, munching on what appeared to be a maple-drenched corn cake. "Except the countries are replaced with committees, the armies are lobbyists, and the goal is to maintain the status quo of corruption and influence peddling."

According to Patriot Pancake, the Senate and House have been engaged in a clandestine operation codenamed "Operation Quid Pro Quo." This operation allegedly involves senators and representatives secretly communicating through coded messages hidden within the Congressional Record, coordinating their efforts to pass legislation that benefits their Deep State puppet masters.

The evidence provided by Patriot Pancake includes a series of documents that appear to show a direct correlation between legislation and campaign contributions, with lawmakers voting in favor of policies that align with the financial interests of the Deep State. One particularly damning piece of evidence is a photograph of a Senate subcommittee meeting where every member is seen wearing a hidden earpiece, presumably receiving instructions from their Deep State handlers.

Furthermore, the whistleblower claims that the Deep State has been using a sophisticated algorithm to predict the outcomes of elections, ensuring that only candidates favorable to their agenda make it to Capitol Hill. This algorithm, known as the "Poll-a-Geddon" model, has reportedly been accurate to within a margin of error of 0.001%.

In response to these explosive allegations, both the Senate and the House have issued statements vehemently denying any collusion with the Deep State. Senate Majority Leader, Senator Grandstand (R-Grandeur), called the claims "baseless and absurd," while House Speaker, Representative Pelosi-Politick (D-Diplomacy), stated that the allegations were "nothing more than a distraction from the real issues at hand."

Despite the official denials, Patriot Pancake remains undeterred, vowing to continue his mission to expose the truth about the Deep State's influence on American politics. "I've seen things that would make your head spin," he said, with a twinkle in his eye that suggested he might just be enjoying the game as much as the Deep Staters he claims to despise.

As the story unfolds, Americans are left to ponder the true nature of their political system, questioning whether their elected representatives are serving the will of the people or the secretive agendas of the Deep State. Only time will tell if Patriot Pancake's revelations will lead to a seismic shift in the political landscape or if it's all just another episode in the long-running series, "As the Capitol Turns."

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.