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In a shocking turn of events, the House of Representatives has officially voted on a controversial piece of legislation that has sparked a nationwide debate on the merits of embracing a dystopian futurist lifestyle. The bill, affectionately dubbed the "Utopia-or-Bust Act of 2023," seeks to redefine the American dream by replacing it with a society where everything is run by smartphones, drones, and flying cars.

Supporters of the Act argue that this bold move will propel the United States into a new era of technological marvels, where humans can live in luxury at the push of a button. "We're not just building a wall," said Congressman Thaddeus "Future-Shock" Thompson, "We're building the future!"

On the other side of the aisle, critics are calling the legislation a fast track to a dystopian nightmare, warning of a future where privacy is nonexistent and AI overlords dictate every aspect of life. "This is a slippery slope to '1984' wrapped in a bow of 'The Truman Show'," exclaimed Senator Dana "Orwellian" Darling.

The Supreme Court has already signaled its interest in the bill, with Justice Herman "The Gavel" Ganz promising a thorough review. "We'll be watching," he said ominously, adjusting his robes with a sly grin.

In the end, the House passed the bill with a margin so slim it could slice a piece of ham. The legislation now awaits approval from the Senate, where a similar deadlock is anticipated. Meanwhile, Americans from all walks of life are glued to their screens, debating whether this is the brave new world they've been waiting for or the beginning of the end of humanity as we know it.

As the nation holds its collective breath, one thing is clear: the future has never been more uncertain, or more ironically, more certain than ever before.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.