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In an unbelievable turn of events that has left political analysts rubbing their eyes in disbelief, a group of fervent Republicans, led by none other than the charismatic Congressman Hale America, have unveiled a radical new interpretation of the Constitution that could drastically alter the landscape of American politics and taxation.

The group, calling themselves the "Founding Forwards," claims to have unearthed a long-lost cryptic manuscript, hidden within the dusty archives of the National Archives, which they believe is the true original draft of the Constitution, penned by none other than the ghost of Ben Franklin himself. This "Franklin Foresight" suggests that the Founding Fathers intended for a system of "Dynamic Taxation," where taxes would fluctuate in real-time based on a complex algorithm that calculates the current happiness of the American populace.

According to this interpretation, the Constitution should be amended to include a "Happiness Index Clause," which would mandate that taxes must increase when the nation is deemed to be experiencing a surge in collective contentment and decrease when the populace is in a funk. The theory, which has already sparked a fiery debate on Capitol Hill, posits that by taxing happiness, the government can directly influence the economic health of the nation, ensuring prosperity in times of joy and austerity in times of woe.

The proposal has not been without its critics. Economists from both sides of the aisle have denounced the plan as "economically illiterate" and "constitutionally absurd." Meanwhile, the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has reportedly hired a team of "Sentiment Analysts" to develop the algorithm that will determine the nation's collective happiness, which will be assessed through a combination of social media sentiment analysis, happiness surveys, and even biometric data from smartwatches.

In a stunning display of bipartisan unity, both the Republican and Democratic leadership have condemned the "Founding Forwards" movement, labeling it a "harebrained scheme" that threatens the very foundations of the republic. Yet, in a peculiar twist, both parties have quietly assigned their own teams to explore the potential political implications of such a radical change in taxation policy.

The nation watches with bated breath as the future of American politics hangs in the balance, with the question on every citizen's mind: Will the "Happiness Index Clause" become the new guiding star of American fiscal policy, or will this be the most outrageous political hoax of the century? Only time will tell, but one thing is for certain – the upcoming midterm elections are sure to be a rollercoaster of emotional and fiscal ups and downs.

In the end, as the debate rages on, it seems that the only thing more volatile than the stock market may soon be the collective mood of the American people.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.