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In a stunning turn of events that has left political pundits and futurists alike rubbing their eyes in disbelief, the nation's leading political parties have officially endorsed a piece of legislation that would legalize the use of time machines for all citizens. Dubbed the "Temporal Liberties and Intergalactic Opportunities for Mayors" Act (TLI OM Act), this groundbreaking bill promises to revolutionize the American way of life by allowing citizens to zip back and forth through time at their leisure.

The sponsor of the bill, a little-known congressman from the state of Futureia, Rep. Al Clockwise, has been a vocal proponent of the act, arguing that "America was never great until its citizens could personally witness its founding and subsequent glories firsthand." The Democratic and Republican parties, usually at odds over everything from healthcare to climate change, have surprisingly united behind the bill, with both nominees for President pledging to sign the act into law should they win the upcoming President

Presidential hopeful, Sen. Tomorrow (D-Chronos) and his Republican counterpart, Gov. Yesterday (R-Eterna), have been seen campaigning in historical garb, shaking hands with their past selves and delivering speeches to crowds of bemused onlookers clad in futuristic attire. The candidates have promised that the TLI OM Act will not only create jobs by stimulating the nascent time tourism industry but also provide an unparalleled educational opportunity for Americans of all ages.

Critics, however, have raised concerns about the potential for paradoxes, the ethical implications of altering historical events, and the logistical nightmare of regulating time travel. Environmentalists fear that the TLI OM Act could lead to a 'temporal ecological disaster,' with citizens potentially disrupting the natural course of history. Meanwhile, historians are up in arms over the prospect of their field becoming obsolete, with the public now able to witness historical events firsthand.

Despite the controversy, the TLI OM Act has captured the imagination of the American public, with early polls showing an overwhelming majority in favor of the legislation. As the election approaches, the race for the presidency is no longer about the future but about who can promise the most extraordinary trip back in time.

In a world where the past and the future are up for grabs, only time will tell if the TLI OM Act will indeed be the panacea that the nation's politicians claim it to be, or if it will lead to a chronological chaos from which our reality may never recover. Voters, it seems, will have to decide whether to cast their ballots for a candidate with a vision of the future, or one who can offer a ticket to the past.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.