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In a shocking exposé that has sent political shockwaves across the nation, it has been revealed that Associate Justice Leonard "Slick" Hardwick of the Supreme Court has been secretly consulting for a clandestine coalition of the world's most notorious tax evaders. The revelation, buried in a trove of leaked documents, suggests that Justice Hardwick's rulings, particularly those concerning tax law, may have been influenced by his covert financial interests.

The documents, which appear to be emails and financial statements, show that Hardwick has been receiving regular payments from "The Order of the Fiscal Phoenix," a shadowy group rumored to consist of international tax dodgers, offshore bankers, and financial fraudsters. The Order's alleged agenda is to undermine global tax systems, and it seems they found a willing accomplice in Justice Hardwick.

The timing of this bombshell is particularly poignant, as the upcoming presidential election hangs in the balance. The Supreme Court, with Hardwick's potential biases, could soon rule on a series of tax-related cases that could sway the outcome of the election and reshape the nation's fiscal policies.

Critics are outraged, with some calling for Hardwick's immediate impeachment. "It's a constitutional crisis," exclaimed Senator Penelope "Pinky" Swank of the Ethics and Campaign Reform Committee. "We cannot have our judges profiting from their rulings, especially when it comes to matters that could influence the fate of our democracy!"

In a bizarre twist, the President himself, a man known for his bombastic rhetoric and unpredictable behavior, has called for a "full investigation," while simultaneously tweeting that the leaked documents are "fake news" concocted by his political enemies. "The Fiscal Phoenix? Sounds like a bird to me," he tweeted, sparking a new wave of confusion and conspiracy theories.

As the nation grapples with this latest scandal, one thing is clear: the integrity of the judicial system, and indeed the upcoming election, hangs in the balance. With the Supreme Court's decision on tax evasion cases looming, only time will tell if justice can be served without a dash of illicit finance. Stay tuned, America; this story is far from over.

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This article was automagically written, and intended only for entertainment purposes.